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The Empire Strikes Back

It looks like Johnny Damon is getting tailored for pinstripes, and surprisingly, I’m OK with it. The Yankees can take Johnny, but we’ll always have Paris. I wonder how loyal Yankee fans will be to a guy who plunged a red dagger into them with a two-run homer and a grand slam in the Sox’ 10-3 win in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS. We’ll see. I’m also not so sure about the hair thing. I mean, Johnny’s flowing locks and facial growth are part of his individualism. It set him apart. Clean shaven, how will we tell him from the immortal Bubba Crosby? Oh, I know. Bubba can reach second base without a cutoff man from center-field in Yankee Stadium.

I admit, the addition of “Johnny Christ” to the Yankee lineup is troubling… Let’s see… Damon, Jeter, Sheffield, Ass-Rod, Matsui, Giambi, Posada… Uhhh… OK. Still, this year will be no different than any other, and it’s “pitching, pitching, pitching” that will rule. The Sox added Yankee-killer Josh Beckett to their rotation and have some fabulous young arms ready to join the fray. The Yanks? Not so much. Plus, Beckett can play center-field or shortstop when he’s not pitching, right? Right, Theo? Theo?

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Oh, Leo, where do I start? The LYF (Loyal Yankee Fans) met at sunrise and the following was outlined for a transition plan for Johnny (as we want him to be comfortable):
    1. He can wear his clever “Cowboy Up” t-shirt on poker night.
    2. Starbucks has generously offered to go dollar for dollar on all his hard earned Dunkin Donut’s gift cards.
    3. We are pledging to keep reminding Johnny that the good news is, the most important thing EVER to a former Red Sox player WILL NOT change: Coincidentally, his new team also blames the Yankees when they lose!

    Your Pal,
    Barb

  2. Anonymous

    Your right about the individuality thing. Johnny looked totally out of his element at the Yankees press conference. He looks terrible in that pinstipe uniform and without his caveman look he doesn’t seem as comfortable in his own skin as he used to. I hope this carries over to the playing field. He himself said he “just wanted to get it (the conference) over with” and his smile seemed forced. However, the Yankees took him soley to demoralize the Boston fans and in a way it has worked, at least temporarily. CE

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