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The (Not So) Evil Empire

[Written Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 9:50am]

So the New York Yankees are the World Champions of Major League Baseball. Since their win, I’ve seen some over the top bad reactions from some residents of Red Sox Nation, and truthfully, a few years back, you know, prior to the Sox coming back from 0-3 to win the ALCS and then the World Series, I would have petulantly pouted about yet another Yankee ring. Now, the Yankees are the Yankees and you won’t be seeing me wearing the Darth Vader colors any time soon, but I’m here today to dispel the notion that the Bronx Bombers are in any way an “Evil Empire.”

Mickey Rivers – That f&%$ing dirtbag punched Bill Lee from behind in the shoulder during a 1976 Stadium brawl that put Lee on the DL and killed the Sox chances that year. F&%$er. Oh, we’re off to a bad start. Let’s dig into the archives a bit…

George Herman “Babe” Ruth – The big lug was a Red Sox before making the Yankees re-think the pinstripes thing, plus he visited lots of sick kids in hospitals. Oh, and I’m sure he didn’t know all those Nathan’s hot dogs he inhaled were laced with roids… Yeah.

Joltin’ Joe – Joe D never remarried and sent roses to his late wife Marilyn Monroe’s gravesite on a weekly basis for 20 years after she passed. Any man who can love a woman like that cannot be evil. That’s a streak.

Yogi Berra – Who doesn’t love Yogi? The guy does freakin’ commercials with a duck! I know for a fact ducks do not work with evildoers, even if their paycheck may come from some.

Thurman Munson – This may cause a crease in the time-space fabric of Red Sox Nation, but I idolized this guy in the late 70’s every bit as much as Sox legend Carlton Fisk. Catchers freakin’ rule!

Reggie Jackson – Yeah, he was as arrogant as they come, but he didn’t get the nickname “Mr. October” by not backing it up. Plus, while he did fight Yankee manager Billy Martin in the Fenway dugout one year, I fully condone Yankee on Yankee violence and do not consider it at all evil.

Mariano Rivera – After blowing a couple early season saves against the Sox in the Bronx, he stood on the third base line at Fenway on opening day as the Sox received their 2004 rings. When he was introduced, the Fenway Faithful gave him a huge Bronx cheer. The only thing bigger was the smile on his face and the class in his heart.

Joba Chamberlain – I’m gonna take a Kevin Youkilis mulligan on ol’ Joba the Nut.

Jorge Posada – Clutch hitting catcher with ears like Dumbo. What’s not to like?

Derek Jeter – He’s one of the all-time greats and made the best play I’ve ever seen in a baseball game, plus that “nice guy” thing can’t be fake, can it? I still think when he jackknifes back like someone lit his balls on fire any time there’s a pitch on the inside corner is overacting, he’s still a class act.

Exhibit 1B – Alex Rodriguez – I know, he’s a dick and he wears lip gloss, but he was the starting shortstop for the Seattle Mariners when he was eighteen years old. To be that talented that young means he was a pampered and spoiled kid waaay back. Like Michael Jackson, he can’t help himself… His attempt to slap the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove in ’04 wasn’t evil. Stupid and pathetic, yeah, but not evil’

Exhibit 1A – George Steinbrenner – The blustery Boss has faded, but the game is about winning and George demanded it. Most people don’t know that when Boston’s WEEI sports radio does their Red Sox “Jimmy Fund” telethon, Mr. Steinbrenner calls up and donates… big. I’m glad the Yankees won one more for the man who loves them unconditionally.

Yankee Fans – Finally, I know a few Yankee fans, and while some are smug and obnoxious about their boys, the ones I know have more class than most Red Sox fans I know including me.

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    If you did not throw in Mickey Rivers and your true feelings for him, I would have been suspicious. Thanks for the props. Jorge is much better looking in person.

  2. Anonymous

    From the Evil Empire to RedSox nation…..Well done.

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