Author: fifteenkey (Page 82 of 95)

A few months ago I read an interesting article in Slate that I vaguely recall insinuated the advertising industry was ripping off “Seinfeld” by using “Seinfeld-isms” in ads. I don’t know… I mean, in my little circle of life, I hear those Seinfeld references on a regular basis. Aren’t they in the public domain; just a part of our early 21st century lexicon? For example, the holidays just passed and I heard “regift” several times. I also believe I witnessed a “double-dipper” at a party I attended. At the same “festivus” gathering there was that woman with “man hands” who was a “low-talker.” I thought I had effectively engineered a “cleavage peek,” but maybe not since her boyfriend became a “close-talker” in my face soon after.

Then there’s the whole relationship/sex thing. I’m beginning to think I may be emerging from my “sexual camel” decade and might just be able to cancel my subscription to “Glamour Magazine.” After all, I am “Master of my own Domain,” right? Right now, I really don’t know. I don’t know whether I want “Hand” in a relationship or just to find a woman who thinks I’m “sponge worthy.” Anyway, I can’t really get into that. It’s in the vault. Just thinking about it is nerve-wracking and if I obsess about it, shrinkage is surely to result. I’ve got to get my mind off of this stuff. I think I’ll watch a movie, but not that gay cowboy movie. I don’t really like Westerns unless Clint Eastwood is spitting chewing tobacco on some dead guys forehead, so I probably won’t find kissing cowboys very entertaining. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

My household has accumulated quite a few toys in the past couple months. It began with Kyle’s kick-ass Darth Vader light saber for his birthday in November and concluded this week with the arrival of my Harmony 676 Universal Remote control. I’ve done exhaustive statistical analysis to determine how the toys rank in terms of their value. Without further ado, the envelopes please:

1. Darth Vader Light Saber – Simply the coolest toy EVER
2. “Light Up” Harry Potter Wand – This was a contender for #1, that is until Kyle unleashed a “fereverto” spell that grew a freakin tail on my ass! This toy is not for kids!
3. Treo 650 – Of course, I got the Jack Bauer Model, so this isn’t some lame Blackberry. All it’s really missing is a “Shut the Hell Up” mute button. CTU is working on it for me…
4. NEC 42XR4A Plasma Television – Like dropping a hit of acid. Um, well, from what I’ve heard…
5. Nikon CoolPix 4600 – Megan’s new camera is small and cool. She has it with her constantly, so I guess she’s digging it.
6. Airens SnowBlower – I was pretty fired up about this until 10” of snow arrived. After pushing this beast around for 2 hours, I think I like the TV better.
7. Harmony 676 – One remote replaces 4. I like it, but my juggling skills are going to take a hit now.
8. iPod Nano 2G – Megan’s toy and until she replaces some of that Eminem with some Sloan, it’s just an “iPud.”

Alec Baldwin recited that hard reality in the terrific film adaptation of the play, “Glengarry Glen Ross.” The line symbolizes the high-pressure life of a Sales professional. There’s really no way to understand the pressure of being in Sales except by actually trying to sell someone something. Sure, we all “sell” everyday as we try to influence, motivate or just try to get people to “buy” us, but it’s not the same as saying, “can we have the order?” Today I got a little taste of the pressure during a meeting case-study I attended in Dallas. Our “Sales” team had to put together a solution of our products and services and sell it to the rest of the class. Yesterday was the easy part. We figured out what the right components were and how they would best ease the customer’s business pains. Today we had to close the deal. As we met to decide how we would approach the close, I really felt emboldened that I knew what the approach should be, so I put my ideas out there and surprisingly, the team of strong-willed semi-sales types agreed. We crafted 3 simple PowerPoint slides to illustrate our offer, our commitment to the customer as a true business partner, and finally a screenful of highly recognizable corporate logos that are happy and loyal customers. “So who’s going to present this? Someone asked. I sank down in my chair hoping to become suddenly invisible. “Well, I think Jim did a good job on the offer. He should present.” Whew… Then someone said, “I thing Leo should close with all that partnership stuff.” “Uh, well…um, I’m not really…” The group all approved and suddenly I wasn’t stealth. I was “it.”

My heart was “banging like Charlie Watts,” to quote a John Hiatt song as Jim wrapped up the financial details. The name of the fictional company was, “We Build. U-Buy.” I opened by thanking everyone for all their hard work in the process and then looked at the customer lead and said, “now is when we hope we’ve reached the point where “We Build. U-Buy.” As I said “we” I pointed to myself with both hands, almost like holding my hands to my heart, then extended my hands toward the customer as I softly said, “U-Buy.” “But…what are we asking you to buy? We hope that over the past months we have built a strong, trusting relationship with you and your team. That partnership is what we’re asking you to buy.” I went around the room and spoke of how we worked with George, their IT VP to understand their infrastructure and ensure optimal performance. I walked over to Ken, their “tough” Union chief and explained how we worked with him on a change management plan to help gain the acceptance of his union employees. I looked back at Pam, the primary customer and I knew I had nailed it. I then spoke about the sales process and acknowledged our firm was not the only one in the running. “I’m sure you’ve seen lots of flash and sizzle, and a lot of cool bells and whistles. But the sizzle fades and then what do you have? With us, you have a long term partner who will be with you over the long-term.” I then walked through a slide on our support offerings that span the entire lifecycle of the product. “This level of support is what protects the significant investment we’re asking you to make today.” The finals slide appeared on the screen with a killer quote from a major customer and many logos of our loyal customers. “I’m asking you to join us. Join the Kronos family of customers like the ones you see on the screen right now. Are there any questions?” Not being a Sales professional, of course I forgot to actually ask for the order, so Jim jumped back in and did. “Yes.” What a rush.

During Theo Epstein’s excellent adventure, a couple very young guys have been running the Red Sox baseball show. As of this evening, it appears the Sox will sow their oats on a deal for Indians outfielder Coco Crisp. Since Crisp doesn’t have the same power numbers of the departed Johnny Damon, the Sox also discussed a trade to add more Pop to their line-up, but Kellogg’s insisted the Sox also take Snap and Crackle. Ex-Co-GM Jed Hoyer tersely dismissed that scenario as “untenable.” Other possibilities being considered are Captain Crunch, All Bran, who has a reputation of clearing the logjam on the bases, and Tony the Tiger, although he’s considered a bit long in the tooth and commands a salary unlikely to be assumed by John Henry and Co.

The club continues to look for pitching, this week bringing in free agent Count Chocula for a physical. Unfortunately, after thousands of innings, an MRI confirmed Chocula indeed has a dead arm. While not as important as run production or pitching, the departure of clubhouse favorite Kevin Millar has some concerned about the team chemistry for 2006. Ex-Co-GM Ben Cherrington is said to be leaning toward veteran Corn Flakes, while Fruit Loops, although tainted by the 2005 steroid scandal, remains a possibility.

Last night when I heard that Jay Farrar lyric while doing sit-ups, I just stared at the ceiling awhile and wondered what the hell it meant and how he came up with it. Maybe it’s a metaphor for dancing…

So it’s 2006. At this early point in the year, I try to assess my financial position and consider my “asset allocation” in retirement funds and other investments. Two stocks I own have been showing signs of life lately, Avanir Pharmaceuticals and Cortex Pharmaceuticals Inc. Avanir markets a cold sore medication called “Abreva,” and has a drug in clinical trials. They also are working on a cholesterol reversing molecule and own a technology platform that develops human antibodies for infectious diseases like um, anthrax. Cortex develops “Ampakine” (cognitive amplifiers) drugs for the treatment of neurological diseases like alzheimer’s, mild cognitive impairment, hyperactivity disorder, autism, and fragile X, among others. They caught my eye a few years ago with an article in Slate. It cited a test of an ampakine compound on some Swedish med students. “After taking the drug, the students improved their performance on tests requiring them to identify smells, navigate mazes, and make visual associations.” I remember thinking how this could really help change lives. Note: I am not recommending you buy these stocks. As early-stage biotech companies, they are very high-risk.

Finally, my own cognitive freak show gave me a head shake this past weekend. As I was flipping channels on the new plasma and being amazed at the quality of movies in HD, I thought, “Contact” would be really cool in HD. Two channel flips later, there it was. It’s not as good as the Carl Sagan book, but it has its moments. In one scene, an alien describes human existence to Jodie Foster’s character, “You’re an interesting species, an interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.” So call an old friend… or make a new one.

Finally, after months of research, analysis paralysis and nagging doubt, I have an HDTV.

Words cannot describe the image produced by my new NEC 42XR4A plasma HDTV. I’ll try, but first a sincere thanks to Chris at Cleveland Plasma. He is professional, courteous, and informative. Most importantly, he executes. I placed my order last Saturday, and the only thing Chris didn’t deliver that I asked for was a Patriots win… All week, Chris kept in touch with me via email and provided tracking information on Wednesday (everyone lost a day to the Monday holiday…) and I was called Thursday to schedule delivery… for Friday between 12-3.

Like a ten year old the night before Christmas, I tossed and turned with visions of tiny pixels dancing in my head. After a quick morning in the office, I sped home wondering what time the “big boy” would arrive. As I pulled up, I wondered no more, for there he was, right at my door! It took me about an hour to set up the stand, position the panel on it and connect cables for a Comcast DVR, LG LDA-511 DVD and Yamaha receiver. If possible, I suggest attaching cables with the panel flat on a soft surface. In particular, the HDMI cables were tough to attach as they are underneath the panel. fyi, I ran digital optical audio from the DVD to the receiver and digital coax from the Comcast box. With all systems go, I turned on the DVR, receiver and panel. Wow. Like Dave, the astronaut at the end of “2001 – A Space Odyssey,” I’m sure my face was full of wonder as this amazing image overwhelmed my senses…

When I finally came to, I wanted to test every DVD I owned… I did check out “Batman Begins,” “Austin Powers – Goldmember,” and “Jaws” when my son came home. All looked very good, but I think the “upconverting” feature of the DVD is somewhat hype. I couldn’t tell much difference between 480i, 480p, 720p or 1080i… I think I’ll be investing in a higher-end DVD like a Denon. Any suggestions? Anyway, HDTV is what really rocks this panel. The INHD channels on Comcast show stunning images made for HD. I felt like I was there as the cameras raced through the canals of Venice and slowly toured the great museums of Europe. I’ve seen HD on a 42″ LG panel and on a 42″ Samsung DLP set. To my eyes, they simply do not compare to the 42XR4A. Colors are vibrant and lifelike. Black is black. Resolution is crystal clear. The glass reflection is really not noticable. Even SDTV looks great! That surprised me as I’ve seen it look less than stellar on the other sets.

All that aside, I got this thing primarily for sports and movies. Unfortunately, the biggest drawback is the lack of HD content available, even with the premium channel feeds Comcast threw in for a free teaser. I mean, ESPNHD was broadcasting a late game and it wasn’t in HD! What’s up with that? As I headlined, the Celtics game was amazing! It was like I had a seat looking out the window of a luxury box, except there was no window on the box because I could hear every sneaker squeak. I don’t think it was the HD, but the young Celtics beat the Nets, 99-96. It was the first game of the season I really paid attention to. The image is that good. Anyway, I’m hopeful HD content will increase rapidly and I can’t wait for the NFL conference championships tomorrow.

Until then, it will be last season’s “24” on DVD, “Million Dollar Baby” in HD that I recorded last night at midnight, “Son Volt in Concert” that I recorded while watching “Sideways,” and finally, shopping for a Harmony remote. Any suggestions for that?

So, after an exhaustive search, I’m extremely satisfied with my decision. Now I have to go watch TV…

I went to the gym tonight. I’ve been working out on a regular basis since high school. Back then it was to build bulk for football, but now it’s more for vanity and survival. Sure, I want to look good, but lately I’ve been thinking more about just living. Sometimes I lie awake at night or in the early hours of the morning and worry about what will happen to my children if I die. It’s not a pleasant um, exercise, so I do what I can to live right and stay healthy. A big part of that is going to the gym after work.

I often have conflicts that pit the gym against social activities, often work-related. “Thirsty Thursdays” are a weekly event that provides some stress relief toward the end of the workweek. Many Thursday’s I’ve opted out and instead gone to the gym. Why? See above. You see, drinking a couple beers is easy; doing 300 situps isn’t. Eating buffalo wings is easy; lifting weights isn’t. Chatting and laughing is easy; 150 flights of stairs in 30 minutes isn’t, but I go. It’s a commitment I made to myself a long time ago and one that is more important now than ever.

“Live in perfect harmoneeeeeeeeeee.” Uh, sorry.

On the day I finally order a plasma HDTV, the Patriots actually lose a playoff game and make tee times. Yeah, the Panasonic turned out to be backordered potentially for months, so I cancelled my order and opted for a 42” NEC 42XR4A. Even without the Pats, I’m looking forward to the Conference Championships this weekend. Based on what I saw this weekend, look for the Steelers and Panthers to meet in the big copyrighted game.

I’m not sure what it is about us New Englanders, but sometimes we take as much pleasure in the failure of other teams as we do with the success of our own. Case in point was my glee in seeing Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts fail once again. After being compared to the ’72 Dolphins while tearing up the regular season, the “Dolts” returned to form and spit the bit in the playoffs. If they couldn’t win it all this year, they may never… EVER! I mean, the football gods conspired with the referees to personally escort Indy to the Sup… uh, big game, and they still lost! First, their nemesis, the Patriots lost, then the refs take away a Steeler interception (today repudiated by the NFL)… Finally, the football gods intervened and Jerome Bettis coughed up the pig on the 2 yard line with Pittsburgh trying to put the game away. Only a saving tackle by Ben Rothlisberger saved a winning Colt touchdown. Ah, whatever. The Colts choked big time. After the game, Manning took it like a man and blamed his offensive line, “I’ll give Pittsburgh credit for their blitzes and their rush, but we did have some protection problems.”

As for the Patriots, there’s no reason to believe they won’t contend for another championship next season. The fires still burn. After the loss, Tedy Bruschi was asked by a Denver reporter if the Patriots still had the ability to be “competitive” next year. “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?” asked Bruschi. “Think about what you just asked me, man. Think about who we have in this locker room. Take that question and get out of my face.”

It’s been a good year so far. Better than the end of 2005 for sure, which was, um, a trip… Recently someone posted a comment to a June post that read, “I think that misery should not be a pre-requisite for great art. Many great artists never new great misery, and many miserable people never do great art.” I don’t think I’ve ever suggested misery is a prerequisite, but it has been associated with many artists considered great. Van Gogh and Hopper are two that come to mind. In those cases, it seems art was the escape from the misery. Get lost in the creative “zone” and the demons are kept at bay for a time. I’ve been unable to channel my misery into creativity lately… at least here. Oh, I’ve created some effective visuals to convey information at work, but the old fifteenkey has been neglected. Other than my demon, who’s bound to end up in jail or dead, a couple other obsessions have really consumed huge chunks of my time. They are internet forums devoted to the Palm Treo and Flat-Panel HDTV’s.

I own a Treo, affectionately known as the “LeoTreo,” and I lust for a Plasma HDTV. This past Monday I set up a new 42” LG Plasma for my pal Barb. Man… Those things are just made for football. The Fiesta Bowl happened to be on and the picture quality was stunning. “Star Wars – Revenge of the Sith” also looked sweet playing on her new “upconverting” OPPO DVD player. Franky I’m surprised Barb even came back to work after getting that bad boy set up. Actually, with 4 new remotes to navigate, I think Barb thought work would be a safer place…

At this point, I pretty much know everything I need to know about pixels, contrast ratio, 720p, 1080i, component, DVI, HDMI and the fallacy of plasma burn-in. If you have any questions, just ask. My plan is to wait for the Christmas-SuperBowl feeding frenzy to end and then grab one of these after the 2006 models start coming out. That is unless someone makes me an offer I can’t refuse. Until then, I have to suffer the indignity of watching the Patriots on my puny 32” Sony in oh-so-ordinary standard definition. Talk about misery…

There’ll be no Norman Rockwell Christmas here this year. Actually, maybe that image is mostly the fiction of oil and bristles, with reality being that most of us celebrate in a way that falls short of that ideal. Many families will celebrate Christmas with family voids this year. Death leaves the permanent void, and I’m thankful not to be coping with that. Christmas in Iraq doesn’t sound too appealing either, yet that is keeping many apart this season. For the fallen, the span is all remaining seasons. My wish on this Christmas Eve is for understanding, and that the light of love illuminates a path back home.