A few months ago I read an interesting article in Slate that I vaguely recall insinuated the advertising industry was ripping off “Seinfeld” by using “Seinfeld-isms” in ads. I don’t know… I mean, in my little circle of life, I hear those Seinfeld references on a regular basis. Aren’t they in the public domain; just a part of our early 21st century lexicon? For example, the holidays just passed and I heard “regift” several times. I also believe I witnessed a “double-dipper” at a party I attended. At the same “festivus” gathering there was that woman with “man hands” who was a “low-talker.” I thought I had effectively engineered a “cleavage peek,” but maybe not since her boyfriend became a “close-talker” in my face soon after.

Then there’s the whole relationship/sex thing. I’m beginning to think I may be emerging from my “sexual camel” decade and might just be able to cancel my subscription to “Glamour Magazine.” After all, I am “Master of my own Domain,” right? Right now, I really don’t know. I don’t know whether I want “Hand” in a relationship or just to find a woman who thinks I’m “sponge worthy.” Anyway, I can’t really get into that. It’s in the vault. Just thinking about it is nerve-wracking and if I obsess about it, shrinkage is surely to result. I’ve got to get my mind off of this stuff. I think I’ll watch a movie, but not that gay cowboy movie. I don’t really like Westerns unless Clint Eastwood is spitting chewing tobacco on some dead guys forehead, so I probably won’t find kissing cowboys very entertaining. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.