I heard this line from Elliott Smith’s “Baby Britain” (From “XO,” 1998) on the way home from the gym tonight. It echoed the sentiments of an email I received earlier today. In part, it read, “Ned (not his real name) was a great guy, but we weren’t exactly on the same intellectual level if you know what I mean.” Yeah, I do know what you mean. It’s just one of the many “tests” we all must pass in the mating game. As I get older, I find myself overanalyzing these things with regard to women. The truth is I think I’m just looking for something to disqualify them from being “the one.” The one I’m afraid to let in. My issues aside, I think as single thirty or forty-somethings get used to the independence and freedom their lifestyle affords them, the less apt they are to “settle” for a relationship with a person that doesn’t measure up in one category or another. Intelligence. Honesty. Physical appeal. Empathy. A sense of humor. Class. Dignity. Self-esteem. Hey, the New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd even asks in a new book, “Are Men Necessary?” As the subject of her punching bag of a book, I guess we are.
And sometimes the heart is in a place where the walls are just too high to get over.
As Linda Ronstadt use to sing:
…Put me through some changes Lord
Sort of like a Waring blender…
-M.