A place to indulge my narcissism... and write stuff...

Day: February 4, 2006

Thanks Jerry

A few months ago I read an interesting article in Slate that I vaguely recall insinuated the advertising industry was ripping off “Seinfeld” by using “Seinfeld-isms” in ads. I don’t know… I mean, in my little circle of life, I hear those Seinfeld references on a regular basis. Aren’t they in the public domain; just a part of our early 21st century lexicon? For example, the holidays just passed and I heard “regift” several times. I also believe I witnessed a “double-dipper” at a party I attended. At the same “festivus” gathering there was that woman with “man hands” who was a “low-talker.” I thought I had effectively engineered a “cleavage peek,” but maybe not since her boyfriend became a “close-talker” in my face soon after.

Then there’s the whole relationship/sex thing. I’m beginning to think I may be emerging from my “sexual camel” decade and might just be able to cancel my subscription to “Glamour Magazine.” After all, I am “Master of my own Domain,” right? Right now, I really don’t know. I don’t know whether I want “Hand” in a relationship or just to find a woman who thinks I’m “sponge worthy.” Anyway, I can’t really get into that. It’s in the vault. Just thinking about it is nerve-wracking and if I obsess about it, shrinkage is surely to result. I’ve got to get my mind off of this stuff. I think I’ll watch a movie, but not that gay cowboy movie. I don’t really like Westerns unless Clint Eastwood is spitting chewing tobacco on some dead guys forehead, so I probably won’t find kissing cowboys very entertaining. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Toys in the Attic

My household has accumulated quite a few toys in the past couple months. It began with Kyle’s kick-ass Darth Vader light saber for his birthday in November and concluded this week with the arrival of my Harmony 676 Universal Remote control. I’ve done exhaustive statistical analysis to determine how the toys rank in terms of their value. Without further ado, the envelopes please:

  1. Darth Vader Light Saber – Simply the coolest toy EVER
  2. “Light Up” Harry Potter Wand – This was a contender for #1, that is until Kyle unleashed a “fereverto” spell that grew a freakin tail on my ass! This toy is not for kids!
  3. Treo 650 – Of course, I got the Jack Bauer Model, so this isn’t some lame Blackberry. All it’s really missing is a “Shut the Hell Up” mute button. CTU is working on it for me…
  4. NEC 42XR4A Plasma Television – Like dropping a hit of acid. Um, well, from what I’ve heard…
  5. Nikon CoolPix 4600 – Megan’s new camera is small and cool. She has it with her constantly, so I guess she’s digging it.
  6. Airens SnowBlower – I was pretty fired up about this until 10” of snow arrived. After pushing this beast around for 2 hours, I think I like the TV better.
  7. Harmony 676 – One remote replaces 4. I like it, but my juggling skills are going to take a hit now.
  8. iPod Nano 2G – Megan’s toy and until she replaces some of that Eminem with some Sloan, it’s just an “iPud.”

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