It’s no wonder much of the world hates “Americans.” So much of what they see is pretty ugly, and the pettiness of some US athletes at the concluding Turin Winter Olympic Games is no exception. Just last night U.S. aerials skier Jeret “Speedy” Peterson was sent to his room back home after he grew beer muscles and got into a fight police had to break up in pre-dawn Turin.

Winner of the gold in “just being a jerk,” Chad Hedrick won a gold, silver and bronze in speedskating, but probably could have done better if not for having to drag his gigantic freakin ego around the ice. His feud with 1,000 meter gold medalist, and teammate Shani Davis tarnish the medals he did win. He couldn’t find it in himself to congratulate Davis after the 1,000 meters, saying “Once Shani beat me, I didn’t care if I got a bronze. I’m here to win. It’s all or nothing.” Oh, Hedrick did come away with another win, a new nickname for his self-promoting, boorish behavior: “the Paris Hilton of speedskating.”

Mike Modano pissed and moaned about not getting the puck and having to make his own flight arrangements, then skipped a final meeting with his US Olympic teammates after they got bounced the night before. Mad Mikey added, “A lot of guys have been there for many years, and maybe we need some new blood in there to run things a little differently”. “It’s probably time some things changed.” Good idea, Mike. Buh-bye.

Let’s see… Lindsey Jacobellis was speeding unchallenged toward the gold in women’s snowboardcross when she showboated the final jump and landed on her ass. Switzerland’s Tanja Frieden blew by the prone American to claim the sport’s first women’s Olympic gold medal.

Hey, I can’t forget Johnny Weir in diva figure skating. He blamed his sorry assed performance on missing a bus and on his missing “aura.” Hey Johnny, maybe next time you can just shut up and skate.

Fortunately it wasn’t all bad. US speedskater Joey Cheek won gold and silver and will donate his $40,000 in medal bonuses to help impoverished children around the world. He’ll carry the US flag in the closing ceremonies.