Santa’s Little Helper II

In my Bloglines RSS feed reside several consumer sites including The Bargainist, AntiRebate, DealNews and my favorite, TechBargains. Occasionally some real deals pass my retinal nerve and I feel compelled to pass them on. It must be the holiday spirit or something… I also think it only good form to keep my Santa’s Little Helper a multimedia extravaganza, so I’ve included appropriate imagery and a holiday film clip for your enjoyment. On Dasher! On Nixon!

At this time of year, many of you will be faced with the “Holiday Party Guestlist Dilemna.” I think you know what I mean. Heck, I may be on your “naughty list” of people you really don’t want to invite, but feel obligated to. I’m here to help. First, send the invitation. Second, slip a strong laxative into the drink or appetizer (I cannot spell Hors de overs…). About thirty minutes later, install the “Toilet Monster.” I expect your “only invited ‘cuz I had to” guest will both not use your facilities and will have to leave your party immediately. Hey, let me know how it goes.

Another classy party tool is now available from a liquidation sale of former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski leftover from a big birthday bash he threw for his now ex-wife with company money. I bet he wishes he still had this in the big house.

Say your buddies are out of town and won’t be coming over for the big game, beer and pork rinds. This ingenious stand-in for male bonding will keep you yucking it up until the boys are back in town.

Another quandry of some men and some women is when the girlfriend is away. No problem if you have the Girlfriend Pillow. Of course another option is silicone breast implants which are back on the market after recent FDA approval, bit I guess those would have to be considered Girlfriend Pillows…

Finally, let those weenie cut and run Democrats drive a Prius. Raw-meat eating Republicans need to make their own personal statement on their war on terror. Buy your favorite neo-con one of these and you can tool around the neighborhood crushing those wimpy green machines. As one reviewer put it, “Finally a tank you can trust.”

As promised, here’s the first ever clip from a series I’m calling “Fifteenkey’s Film Festivus.” Tonights clip is from “Bad Santa,” a Christmas classic that sits on the holiday film spectrum far, far, far on the opposite side from, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Yes, this Santa is very bad. Enjoy!