“Earthstorm” is one of those sci-fi dregs that is so bad you can’t take your eyes off it, and I had to see if the asteroid wounded moon was going to crack in half. I had to! Sadly, good sense lurking somewhere deep in the Frontal Lobes of my cerebral cortex um, acted for me and put my ass to sleep.

The Movie Mark website succinctly summarizes the films lack of quality, “Folks, the movie’s so bad that NASA wouldn’t even let them use their name, thus, we have the American Space Institute (ASI). Houston, however, wasn’t so lucky in protecting its name.”

Anyway, I noted there was one of those Baldwin dudes brooding through the film with a ridiculous hair thing hanging down his forehead that looked like Makeup adjusted to exacting dimensions for every take. I mean, the space helmet comes off and it’s still there… Whatever. He was so bad and his dialogue delivery so monotone, I actually said out loud, “Wow, this Baldwin brother sucks.” Now, talking to myself aside, Stephen Baldwin is one awful actor.

You may be wondering, “how did you know the sucky Baldwin was Stephen?” Good question. Today I was reading the HuffPo (that’s what we left wing nuts call it), and one of the stories was, “Stephen Baldwin On Fox News: If Obama Wins, I’ll Leave The Country.” As righty host Laura Igraham tried to shut his rant down, he finished with a flourish, spouting, “Why do they keep saying that four more years of McCain is four more years of Bush? That’s the most stupidist thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

I just knew.