I’m trying. I really am. One birthday present for the newly working-out Megan was the latest “Women’s Health,” with the gorgeous Paula Patton (“Precious”) on the cover. Honestly, it caught my eye because her body really reminded me of um, this friend of mine. Yeah, she’s way too young and hot for me, but that’s not really important right now. Anyway, as said friend and I watched the Vancouver Winter Games closing ceremony, I thought I’d earn some points by handing her the magazine and saying, “you look this good.” She flipped through the magazine eventually arriving at the article on Ms. Patton. I was feeling pretty good as I scanned other very flattering pictures that naturally would make my friend feel even more beautiful…

“She’s five months pregnant,” was what I heard as the magazine left airspace and landed in my lap. There was some silence, but I scrambled for recovery, “hey, there’s Neil Young.” Neil was standing alone in black under the “Superman” movie-like ice pillars with acoustic guitar and harmonica. As he sang “Long May You Run” to the athletes and the world, the flames died out around him. Pretty much the same thing I’d achieved a few minutes earlier.