In addition to ten year old pictures and very liberal use of the term “curvy,” Internet dating is complicated by time and distance. Not enough and too much. Just tonight I received an email from a woman. Actually, it was a “courtesy reply,” which means you can blow someone off without actually writing a reply. This one read, “Thanks, but we live too far away from one another.”

I’m thinking I need a “teleporter” like on Star Trek. “Hey, Scotty, beam me over to “45butlook30’s” house, willya?”

Actually, in June of 2002, a team at the Australian National University managed to send a message using the same principles as the Star Trek teleporter. Now granted, I’m a little bigger than a message, but technology moves fast. They used a process called quantum entanglement, which coincidentally is just what I’m looking for.

Like any technology, this one would need a disaster recovery plan. I’ve been on several dates where I’ve wanted to be able to quickly extricate myself from the situation. This would work. I’d simply disappear. No uncomfortable chit-chat. No tab. Nothing but a sound.