Recently an earnings report of a restaurant chain in the South got me thinking about just how glamorous the Tar Hut years were. I mean, we were record executives, dammit. Where were the groupies, the hookers, the blow? Other than the time Dave and Jeff badly mistreated the bathroom* (and anyone in it) at the Four Seasons in Austin, we really didn’t live the high life. Our road trips to Austin were low-budget affairs including dining here and lodging for 3 here. Now I’m not going to get into the “who did what to whom” thing, but the fact is, neither Jeff nor I were willing to sleep with Dave, so Jeff and I slept back to back for four long nights one year. Yeah, that double-bed was a “no-spoon” zone that didn’t include Dave… No wonder we always had Maker’s Mark with us… that, with two sides and a roll.
* There were several “bathroom incidents” involving Jeff and Dave, including one alleged episode when they simultaneously suffered gastro-intestinal distress right after seeing Sandra Bullock while eating at Hut’s Hamburgers. Listen, I couldn’t possibly make this stuff up, and since this is a family blog, I’ll stop right there.
For the record, the toilet incident did not occur at the Four Seasons, it happened at a restaurant called “The District.”
And it is not “alleged” – it really happened. It was entirely gross and absolutely hilarious. I guarantee you’ve never laughed so hard while birthing what felt like a monster. I would say “you had to be there,” but then again, you (or anyone else) probably wouldn’t want to be there.