And His Hair Was(n’t) Perfect…

Yesterdays voyage to Chicago was eventful. I had not traveled since the TSA regulations involving Ziplock bags took place…

As I approached the x-ray machines at security the realization set in that the travel bag I employed for personal hygiene wasn’t going to cut it, so I emptied all of it into one of the plastic bins hoping for a last-minute pardon. Uh, not. “Sir, those need to be in a ziplock bag. Hudson News sells them.” I proceeded to re-dress and shoved all the stuff into my bag for a shopping stop at Hudson’s. I expected the worst in price gouging, but at 35 cents a pop, the large sandwich sized bags were a bargain under the circumstances. I crammed all the items into 2 bags and headed back through the security line. Once there, the TSA boys were ready to pounce…

As the TSA inspector removed and analyzed each and every item, he set aside the items in question: A large Edge Gel shaving cream and a 3.5 ounce tub of American Crew pomade.
“These cannot go on the aircraft.” He explained that by limiting liquids to the sandwich bag size, “it would limit the explosive power if a terrorist tried to get liquid explosives onboard.” I see. My pomade was endangering the lives of all on the flight to Chicago. I had just begun a relationship with this jar Saturday morning removing only the first of many satisfying fingerfulls. My hair looked good too. I had achieved a perfect balance of messiness without the appearance of trying too hard to do it. Yeah, it’s complicated.

Now, luckily, I’m at Dave’s, the “hair stuff” capital of Chicagoland… I’ll go without the shave.