A web search indicates unknown origin of the term, and there used to be this hot sauce, but “Sorry, this product is not currently available.” Now I don’t believe in Hell, or its mirror opposite “up there,” but what the hell is going on in the world?

  • US astronauts, once one of the shining examples of American achievement and courage, are flying into space drunk. I guess they’re not so um, dependable, after all.
  • Another place not to look for American heroes is in the professional sports world. Juicer Barry Bonds is one home run away from tying Hank Aaron’s career mark of 755. Now Mr. Aaron’s head is the same size as it was in 1957. Why isn’t Barry’s?
  • The NBA has discovered one of its referees has been fixing games.
  • Michael “Ookie” Vick allegedly ran a dog-fighting operation out of a home he owns. In addition to the viciousness of the fighting itself, losers were sometimes killed by “hanging, drowning, and slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.” Oh, and apparently Ookie consulted on the electrocution of another canine who “underperformed.”
  • I’d throw the stock market slide into this mix, but after climbing 25% in 2007, I don’t think a correction is anything to panic about. I took the opportunity to take some profits and move money elsewhere. Riverbed wasn’t going up forever.
  • Pepsi is going to hire Charlton Heston for a new “Aquafina” campaign. Yeah, Chuck will put down his NRA sanctioned automatic weapon and scream into the camera, “AQUAFINA IS… TAP WATER!!!” Speaking of tap, I recently picked up a PUR 2-Stage Dispenser. I just couldn’t keep buying water in plastic containers.
  • Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is the latest Bush Administration official involved in a scandal. It seems Mr. Gonzales is lying to the Senate about a hospital bedside visit to former AG John Ashcroft, where Mr. Gonzales allegedly pried him to overrule a deputy and reauthorize Dubya’s secret program of warrantless electronic eavesdropping. I don’t know if he brought flowers.
  • In other Bush legacy news, it now appears former NFL player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman was killed from less than 10 yards away, very likely by US troops. Of course the White House is doing everything it can to support our troops and in this case, they’re supporting the late Pat Tillman by claiming executive privilege and withholding documents from congressional investigators.
  • The news isn’t all bad. Our esteemed Vice President Dick Cheney will undergo surgery today to replace a battery in his cardioverter-defibrillator. Medical technology is amazing. Imagine… they can implant a cardiac device and keep the Dark Lord alive even without a heart!

Maybe it’s not so bad and we’re not going all the way to hell; just to the Purgatory of a totalitarian state.