How long would the line be this afternoon at the Topsfield fair if there was a contraption called “The Manny Home Run Experience” where lucky fans could feel what Manny Ramirez felt at 12:44 a.m. this morning? Someone could make a lot of money with such a “Baseball Orgasmatron.” It would produce that rarest of feeling that travels from the fingertips up the arms, down the spine finally peaking by firing all endorphin guns at once as you euphorically watch a baseball explode into space.

This morning there are 3 jilted lovers in the baseball playoffs, all facing steep odds of getting back the girl. This reality does douse my 2007 playoff fantasy with icy cold water. My scenario went something like this:

Division Series:

  • Red Sox over the North Mexico Angels
  • Bombers all over the Tribe like flypaper
  • Phillies beat the Snakes to increase Mets fans pain
  • Cubs prevail over Colorado (natch)

League Championship Series:

  • Roger Clemens and the Yankees beat the Red Sox in 7 on a Johnny Damon Home Run
  • Cubbies sweep the Phillies

World Series:

  • Steve Bartman is forgiven as the Cubs overcome an 0-3 Series deficit to beat the Yankees

My picks aren’t looking very solid this morning, but hey, teams have climbed out of worse than 0-2 series holes, haven’t they?