You may have heard about the video circulating the net featuring self-described bloviator Bill Orally. What you may not have seen are the dance mix and the behind the scenes producer-side of the event. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time… Enjoy!

Billo Dance Mix:

Behind the Scenes Producer Commentary:

People at the airport I departed yesterday like to say, “Austin to Boston” with a little ring to it. The female attendant at the JetBlue counter did it, followed by a woman at an all-UT store where pretty much everything they sold was burnt orange with white longhorns. A post 6th Street post was in the works, but I’ll just summarize: When in Austin, go to the Broken Spoke and have the chicken fried steak for dinner so you’ll be impervious to alcohol and can stay out late and see lots of bands and other um, sights.

Long after this blog is in digital dormancy and I’m dead, “Dubya” will be in the history books as the worst president in the history of the republic. His remarks this week about “appeasement” shine a light on a subject he should have left off, like the dim 40 watter barely blinking in his head. Actually, he just plays a dumb puppet sitting on the lap of corporate ventriloquists, and his crimes of appeasement are far worse than the well intentioned classic blunder of Neville Chamberlain. For those of you playing at home, as British Prime Minister, Chamberlain led one of several countries, including France and Italy who signed the Munich Agreement, ceding a part of Czechoslovakia to Hitler in an effort to halt his European expansion efforts. It failed as Hitler said, “danke” and kept the Nazi Panzers rolling all the way to Paris.

Appeasement. In my mind, George Bush was implicating Barack Obama as an “appeaser” of Iran with his comments in the Israeli Knesset. Simply talking to a party with goals counter to our own is not appeasement. It is the giving away of something that defines the term. For example:

• No national health insurance plan appeases drug companies and health insurance providers at the expense of, in some cases, the lives of uninsured Americans.
• A pathetic record on CAFÉ auto emission standards appeases both the US automakers and the oil companies at the expense of American families and the environment.
• Lack of regulation and oversight appeases a greedy financial industry at the expense of thousands of American families losing their homes.
• Finally, the crowing achievement of this dreadful administration appeases the likes of Dick Cheney’s Halliburton Corporation with no-bid contracts at the expense of over 4,000 American lives, thousands more Iraqis, lower standing in the world, and billions of wasted dollars.

An honest mistake is Neville Chamberlain’s legacy. The inexcusable weakening of our nation by appeasing his corporate friends is the legacy of George W. Bush.

On my Westward commute last night I caught a NPR story on the earthquake near Chengdu, China. Reporter Melissa Block was in the province conducting a recorded interview when the 7.9 quake hit. She stayed cool and just described what she felt and saw. Then she witnessed the devastating aftermath at a nearby middle school. The entire NPR page is here.

In a preemptive strike to save my future political career, I hereby disavow any knowledge of the events perpetuated by one Hut234 and shamelessly blogged by one RustedRobot about my past association with Tar Hut Records.

Let me say at the outset that I vehemently disagree and strongly condemn the statements that have been the subject of this controversy. I categorically denounce any statement that disparages our great label or serves to divide me from potential future girlfriends. I also believe that words that degrade individuals have no place in our public dialogue, whether it’s on Hut234’s MySpace page or in RustedRobot’s blog. In sum, I reject outright the statements by Hut234 that are at issue.

For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know Hut234 to be an occasionally fierce critic of some of our CD art? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while at a show? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his A&R; decisions? Absolutely.

And the notion that somehow as a consequence of me knowing somebody who engaged in detestable acts 9 years ago, when I was 40 years old, somehow reflects on me and my values doesn’t make much sense.

Let me repeat what I’ve said earlier. All of the statements and odors that have been the subject of controversy are ones that I vehemently condemn.

Thank you and God Bless America.

I’m glad we said goodbye. Over the past few weeks we had a few extra meetings and some honest discussion about the whys, but throughout I acted like it wasn’t really happening; that Monday morning the cheery Aussie accent would fill my office…

Friday was Natira’s last day at Kronos. She and Rod are going home to Sydney, Australia after 2 1/2 years stateside. Last night I attended a “Farewell to the Fabulous Drayton’s” party at Barb’s. My date for the evening was little Miss Madison, as Megan was employed for the evenings events. Seeing a blanket-swaddled Madison “flying” in Rod’s arms on the deck with the Atlantic Ocean backdrop was the lightest moment of the night for me. A happy girl with a natural future dad…

Near baby departure time, the young bartender passed small Limoncello shots to all the guests for a toast. I passed, but looked up astonished to see Kyle throw back the first alcohol to ever pass his lips. He took a little teasing, but was unaffected and sang all the way home.

Rod and Natira came out to the car with us to give me Nat’s laptop and a nice bagel-width toaster. After the formalities, we entered an awkward embrace; words jumbled in my mind and choking vocal chords unaiding their delivery. My final impression is of the silhouetted couple walking away hand in hand. Beautiful.

I didn’t think it was going to be so hard.

So what do you say when they slip away?
That’s how it is
And you can’t change a thing about the way things are
So I’m not trying

Keeping track of the brand new days
I wish that I could turn them in
To something different than what we’ve got
Cuz now we’re missing your ways
Oh yeah we’re missing your ways

Goodbye Friend

Anders Parker – “Goodbye Friend” from Tell it to the Dust – 2004

Esquire online’s article, “75 Skills Men Should Be Able to Do” put me to the test. Here’s the top 10 and a few others…

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. – Yeah, sure. Don’t lie.
2. Tell if someone is lying. – My perception is good.
3. Take a photo. The Esquire article said, “Fill the frame.” That doesn’t exactly follow the “rule of thirds,” but regardless, I’m far from checking this off the list.
4. Score a baseball game. – Just Thursday night I shared the story of how teaching Miss Megan how to keep score kept the 5 year old interested in her first Sox game on July 7, 1994, featuring Seattle’s Randy Johnson v. Aaron Sele. The game was flying and the Sox led 3-1 going into the 9th. A Ken Griffey Jr. double off the monster tied it in the 9th. Seattle won it in the 10th. Welcome to Red Sox Nation, my girl.
5. Name a book that matters. – “Moby-Dick” by Herman Melville. It’s also got a great drum solo by John Bonham on the live record.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. – I love music and I can tell you how Wilco and Son Volt rose from the dead Uncle Tupelo. I also know two leaders of another band are Gene Klein and Stanley Eisen, but you don’t care about that either.
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill. – Check.
8. Not monopolize the conversation. – I need to work on my monopolizing skills.
9. Write a letter. – Tends to get me in big trouble, but yeah.
10. Buy a suit. – Wool. Black, Navy or Charcoal. Pinstripe or not. Avoid yellow.

Others:
14. Chop down a tree. – How’s that skill #14?
18. Speak a foreign language. – I will learn some French and go where they speak it.
19. Approach a woman out of his league. – Are there classes on this?
30. Feign interest. – I hate being phony, but this is an unfortunate skill requirement.
35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once). – Yes, but I’d rather not.
46. Tell a woman’s dress size. – Not sure, but I think 6 is good. Small, Hot, Medium and Large?
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. – Cheeze-Its
68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. – With my slice, this is very important.
71. Iron a shirt. – See #35 above.
75. Negotiate a better price. – Be willing to walk.

It doesn’t matter what the definition of is is. It is over. Even after the infuriating, pandering tactics of Hillary Clinton over the past few months, I was a bit saddened watching her deflated “victory” speech last night, complete with a shameless pitch for more money. What’s so brazen about Sen. Clinton asking for money now is that it’s most likely going in her pocket to repay the $5M loan she provided her campaign. Sad.

The “egg heads and African-Americans” line came from Clinton supporter Paul Begala on CNN last night. Mr. Begala suggested the Democrats can’t win in November without the white, middle-class voters his candidate spent so much energy pandering to with shots (guns and Crown Royal) and promises of a gas-tax holiday. On Sunday, Mrs. Clinton was challenged to name one economist who supported her holiday. When she replied, “I’m not going to put my lot in with economists,” what she really meant was, I can’t justify my lame, pandering promise.

I’m optimistic Barack Obama’s honesty on the issues is paying off with thoughtful voters, but I do worry that race will be exploited in the Fall and I wonder how many of the key white, middle-class voters will just pick the white guy on November 4th. Certainly, race is a factor in African-Americans siding with Obama at a 9-1 clip, but will Sen. Clinton’s base of older, white women be unable to choose a black man? After last night, it looks like we’ll find out as Sen. Obama survived the Clinton’s final assault, and will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.

I’ve written some here about my own “glory days,” playing ball before I turned 20. Wow. It just now occurs to me that summer of 1978 is not “closer than it appears” in the rear view. I hit a baseball that August I’ll never forget, but at the time I lacked the experience to realize the ball I had violently smashed would not be retrieved that day. Instead of enjoying the flight, I stole a quick peek of the shrinking dot headed for the treetops and ran, head down toward the first corner.

When Manny Ramirez soon hits his 500th home run, he’ll leave his arms extended and pointed at the sky. He’ll enjoy the entire journey until the ball disappears or is engulfed in a pig-pile of lottery hopefuls.

Among life’s clichés, “be sure to smell the flowers along the way,” which I attribute to Jack Nicklaus, but really was spoken by Walter Hagen, is up there for me. Unfortunately, the flowers are beyond the periphery of looking down, running for third.

How many people truly “live as if each day is their last?” What about the Zen of “living in the moment.” I’m just putting one foot in front of the other, like a first-time marathoner being steamrolled on Heartbreak Hill. I have to do lists for work and home, bills to manage, and complex puzzles to solve about how I can leave this place a better one for my children and grandchildren. I’m also becoming increasingly anti-social. Recently a friend told me his wife helped cure his anti-social leanings by helping him see how friends, family and relationships are more important than “stuff.” I get it, but stepping outside the pod bay doors is risky.

Another solid saying is, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” So true. I experience it every time I use my stair climber. The first step is the only tough one, but it’s a mental step and those can be more challenging when the path is strewn with old baggage. There’s so much more I could be doing in so many directions with my unfinished life. It’s all out there. Step up. Head up. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

That was my 500th post. As it leaves the yard, I hope it wasn’t too cliché.

The Enrico Palazzo* of our family is taking singing lessons, and his teacher is a very accomplished soprano, Beth Keusch. She has performed all over the world and has a Lincoln Center date later this month. I don’t know if she’ll train Kyle to sing like her, but with Kyle’s spirit and ability to carry a tune with no training to date, who knows how good he’ll get. That’s beside the point though. Kyle’s happiness is what’s important, and when he’s singing he’s happy. Oh, and when he thinks no one is watching, he really lets it rip…

* The opera singer Leslie Nielsen impersonates in The Naked Gun.

Great line and imagery by Maureen Dowd in the NYT: “The lioness of Chappaqua is hot on the trail of the Chicago gazelle, eager to gnaw him to pieces, like a harrowing scene out of a George Stubbs painting.”