Month: February 2006 (Page 2 of 2)

Yeah, I’m a little cynical, but Valentine’s Day is just so contrived. The cheesy cards. The overpriced flowers. The once a year overture that simply doesn’t make up for sleepwalking through the other 364. Last night I took Kyle shopping so he could get his Mom and sister something, but with this young man, he loves them like every day is Valentine’s Day. He’s a 24/7 lover boy. Isn’t that how it should be? Unconditional? The way it used to be before the pain, regrets and burns… Sometimes I wonder if I can ever again risk enough to shed my jaded skin and get there. To a place where I relate as much to a love song as I do to this one:

PS – As I wrote this, the sweet sound of Megan reading to Kyle softly carried through the house. Moments like these confirm my heart still beats.

• The SuperBowl was just bad all around. It was especially frustrating to watch those two teams stumble about for 4 quarters knowing the Patriots would have slapped the shit out of either one of them.
• I read that Sir Mick was “outraged” over the NFL/ABC “censorship” of lyrics to “Start Me Up.” Dude, no one wants to drop the pork rinds at halftime and explain to little Suzie or Johnny what, “you made a dead man come” means, OK?
• Two words: Spring Training
• Barry from Jordan’s Furniture called me today to let me know Megan’s new dresser will arrive tomorrow between 7am and 11am. Yeah, it’s mass market stuff and all, but they really know how to serve customers.
• I’m moving offices for the 4th time in a little over a year. This time though, I’m getting four walls and a door. That’s going to feel good.
• Yesterday I had lunch with a “wicked smaht” guy who attended a Stanford Executive Training Course with Barb over the summer. It was a great lunch and we had fun. I’m very fortunate to be able to hang with people like them.
• Did U2 win those Grammy’s last night because of the music or Bono’s humanitarian politics?
• It’s no wonder “consultants” have a bad name. They act just like consultants.
• DVR’s are pretty cool. I’m going to watch Tuesday night’s 10pm episode of “Love Monkey” right now…

As we approached Stubb’s it was clear, even through a Maker’s Mark haze, that getting into this show would be our greatest challenge to date. In the Spring of 2000, there was quite a buzz surrounding Hank Williams III. The hope was that the talent of his grandfather had simply skipped a generation and that the kid “had it.” It was one of the shows we really wanted to see, but the line around Stubb’s and the packed outdoor venue just bummed me out. Shut out? We’d never been shut out of a show at SXSW and we’d seen some barnburners. This time, things looked bleak. “Follow me,” barked Dave and suddenly I was chasing him as he ducked into the restaurant entrance, about 100’ beyond the concert entrance. In 2000, Dave was pretty damn quick, and he was on a mission. He approached a management type who attempted to intervene, but Dave threw a pomp head-fake and left the poor guy grasping at air like some poor Packer linebacker trying to tackle Barry Sanders. After the whiff, the would-be stopper fell into a waiter and the resulting slow-motion splattering of marinara across a patrons white shirt looked like it came right out of a Mario Puzo novel. Not pausing to admire the Tarantino-esque artistic carnage, Dave quickly darted down a short set of stairs and then cut left as he led an out pattern through the kitchen. I could have sworn I saw Andy Warhol chatting with a busboy as we dashed past the dishwasher, but I’m sure it was just the excitement of the moment. Suddenly there was darkness, but only briefly before the light… The beautiful light of the Stubb’s stage!

We hurriedly moved into the crowd and took a position center-stage, just behind what became the mosh-pit. Just in front of us was this guy who was pretty big, especially in the cranial region. We didn’t realize it at the time, but he’s in a band with Jack Black called Tenatious D…We didn’t see Jack, especially with that big dude in our field of vision.

Anyway… Hank III, or “Hank Tree” as we were calling him finally hit the stage and acted all punk until he blew out his bass amp. Then he threw a hissy-fit and walked off the stage. Dave speculated at the time that we may have witnessed a classic moment in rock history when “Hank III walked off stage at SXSW.” Um, not so much. I don’t think “Tree” has lived up to the hype of those early years. Hey, maybe there’s hope for Hank IV.

I turned around to head out, but Dave suggested we stick around to see the next band. I completely trust Dave’s musical instincts, so stay we did. About ten minutes later Eddie Spaghetti and the Supersuckers emerged looking and sounding something like this.

A few months ago I read an interesting article in Slate that I vaguely recall insinuated the advertising industry was ripping off “Seinfeld” by using “Seinfeld-isms” in ads. I don’t know… I mean, in my little circle of life, I hear those Seinfeld references on a regular basis. Aren’t they in the public domain; just a part of our early 21st century lexicon? For example, the holidays just passed and I heard “regift” several times. I also believe I witnessed a “double-dipper” at a party I attended. At the same “festivus” gathering there was that woman with “man hands” who was a “low-talker.” I thought I had effectively engineered a “cleavage peek,” but maybe not since her boyfriend became a “close-talker” in my face soon after.

Then there’s the whole relationship/sex thing. I’m beginning to think I may be emerging from my “sexual camel” decade and might just be able to cancel my subscription to “Glamour Magazine.” After all, I am “Master of my own Domain,” right? Right now, I really don’t know. I don’t know whether I want “Hand” in a relationship or just to find a woman who thinks I’m “sponge worthy.” Anyway, I can’t really get into that. It’s in the vault. Just thinking about it is nerve-wracking and if I obsess about it, shrinkage is surely to result. I’ve got to get my mind off of this stuff. I think I’ll watch a movie, but not that gay cowboy movie. I don’t really like Westerns unless Clint Eastwood is spitting chewing tobacco on some dead guys forehead, so I probably won’t find kissing cowboys very entertaining. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

My household has accumulated quite a few toys in the past couple months. It began with Kyle’s kick-ass Darth Vader light saber for his birthday in November and concluded this week with the arrival of my Harmony 676 Universal Remote control. I’ve done exhaustive statistical analysis to determine how the toys rank in terms of their value. Without further ado, the envelopes please:

1. Darth Vader Light Saber – Simply the coolest toy EVER
2. “Light Up” Harry Potter Wand – This was a contender for #1, that is until Kyle unleashed a “fereverto” spell that grew a freakin tail on my ass! This toy is not for kids!
3. Treo 650 – Of course, I got the Jack Bauer Model, so this isn’t some lame Blackberry. All it’s really missing is a “Shut the Hell Up” mute button. CTU is working on it for me…
4. NEC 42XR4A Plasma Television – Like dropping a hit of acid. Um, well, from what I’ve heard…
5. Nikon CoolPix 4600 – Megan’s new camera is small and cool. She has it with her constantly, so I guess she’s digging it.
6. Airens SnowBlower – I was pretty fired up about this until 10” of snow arrived. After pushing this beast around for 2 hours, I think I like the TV better.
7. Harmony 676 – One remote replaces 4. I like it, but my juggling skills are going to take a hit now.
8. iPod Nano 2G – Megan’s toy and until she replaces some of that Eminem with some Sloan, it’s just an “iPud.”

Alec Baldwin recited that hard reality in the terrific film adaptation of the play, “Glengarry Glen Ross.” The line symbolizes the high-pressure life of a Sales professional. There’s really no way to understand the pressure of being in Sales except by actually trying to sell someone something. Sure, we all “sell” everyday as we try to influence, motivate or just try to get people to “buy” us, but it’s not the same as saying, “can we have the order?” Today I got a little taste of the pressure during a meeting case-study I attended in Dallas. Our “Sales” team had to put together a solution of our products and services and sell it to the rest of the class. Yesterday was the easy part. We figured out what the right components were and how they would best ease the customer’s business pains. Today we had to close the deal. As we met to decide how we would approach the close, I really felt emboldened that I knew what the approach should be, so I put my ideas out there and surprisingly, the team of strong-willed semi-sales types agreed. We crafted 3 simple PowerPoint slides to illustrate our offer, our commitment to the customer as a true business partner, and finally a screenful of highly recognizable corporate logos that are happy and loyal customers. “So who’s going to present this? Someone asked. I sank down in my chair hoping to become suddenly invisible. “Well, I think Jim did a good job on the offer. He should present.” Whew… Then someone said, “I thing Leo should close with all that partnership stuff.” “Uh, well…um, I’m not really…” The group all approved and suddenly I wasn’t stealth. I was “it.”

My heart was “banging like Charlie Watts,” to quote a John Hiatt song as Jim wrapped up the financial details. The name of the fictional company was, “We Build. U-Buy.” I opened by thanking everyone for all their hard work in the process and then looked at the customer lead and said, “now is when we hope we’ve reached the point where “We Build. U-Buy.” As I said “we” I pointed to myself with both hands, almost like holding my hands to my heart, then extended my hands toward the customer as I softly said, “U-Buy.” “But…what are we asking you to buy? We hope that over the past months we have built a strong, trusting relationship with you and your team. That partnership is what we’re asking you to buy.” I went around the room and spoke of how we worked with George, their IT VP to understand their infrastructure and ensure optimal performance. I walked over to Ken, their “tough” Union chief and explained how we worked with him on a change management plan to help gain the acceptance of his union employees. I looked back at Pam, the primary customer and I knew I had nailed it. I then spoke about the sales process and acknowledged our firm was not the only one in the running. “I’m sure you’ve seen lots of flash and sizzle, and a lot of cool bells and whistles. But the sizzle fades and then what do you have? With us, you have a long term partner who will be with you over the long-term.” I then walked through a slide on our support offerings that span the entire lifecycle of the product. “This level of support is what protects the significant investment we’re asking you to make today.” The finals slide appeared on the screen with a killer quote from a major customer and many logos of our loyal customers. “I’m asking you to join us. Join the Kronos family of customers like the ones you see on the screen right now. Are there any questions?” Not being a Sales professional, of course I forgot to actually ask for the order, so Jim jumped back in and did. “Yes.” What a rush.