Month: December 2006 (Page 2 of 2)

Of course none of us know when we might see someone, smile, or say “I love you” for the last time, but for some of “the greatest generation,” today is a day to say goodbye.

I was under the impression that “28 days” was some rehab term, but I guess it’s an old one. So many people are fucked up these days treatment facilities can’t handle the volume if they give people 28 days. Whatever. I suppose the 28 days was the time it took to get shit out of your system and then try to resume a normal life. When I searched the term it brought up the IMDB link to the film and interestingly one person posted a comment comparing it to “Girl, Interrupted.” Having never seen it, I read a little…

I think I’m looking for some kind of answer, but fuck it. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Here’s a little exchange between Angelina Jolie (Lisa) and Whoppi Goldberg (Valerie):

Lisa: Take one fuckin’ step and I’ll jam this in my aorta.
[aiming a pen at her neck]
Valerie: Lisa, your aorta is in your chest.
Lisa: Good to know.

Last night I dreamt of driving toward lower Manhattan when suddenly the streets were flowing like those in Venice. Suddenly, and seemingly without warning, the water was up to my shoulders and everything in the car was under it. Sitting at a basketball court drying off in the sun, I wasn’t feeling any particular loss over the car, but was seriously bummed out about my laptop and camera, which was spewing water out of every opening like in the Three Stooges short when the boys pose as plumbers at a fancy home where mayhem rightly ensues. When someone asks the black cook for a glass of water, his classic response is, “Water? Turn on anything; you’ll get it!”

Wikipedia has a decent definition of the medium and states they “were shown mostly to the baby boomer generation schoolkids of the U.S. and U.K. during the 1960s, 1970s, and the early 1980s.” Yeah, I’d be in that demographic.

I saw “A Christmas Story” today with Kyle, and the “Warren G. Harding” school depicted looked eerily like my own Greenwood Elementary back in the 60’s. My research turned up a couple filmstrip examples, and they starkly depict the difference in our culture then and now.

“Sharing With Neighbors” is a must-see classic and clearly a product of the 50’s or early 60’s; a truly innocent time for many Americans. Contrasting it is “American Civics Volume II,” a humorless spoof of the medium that saddens me even though its political leaning is not contrary to mine.

I miss the filmstrip…

In my Bloglines RSS feed reside several consumer sites including The Bargainist, AntiRebate, DealNews and my favorite, TechBargains. Occasionally some real deals pass my retinal nerve and I feel compelled to pass them on. It must be the holiday spirit or something… I also think it only good form to keep my Santa’s Little Helper a multimedia extravaganza, so I’ve included appropriate imagery and a holiday film clip for your enjoyment. On Dasher! On Nixon!

At this time of year, many of you will be faced with the “Holiday Party Guestlist Dilemna.” I think you know what I mean. Heck, I may be on your “naughty list” of people you really don’t want to invite, but feel obligated to. I’m here to help. First, send the invitation. Second, slip a strong laxative into the drink or appetizer (I cannot spell Hors de overs…). About thirty minutes later, install the “Toilet Monster.” I expect your “only invited ‘cuz I had to” guest will both not use your facilities and will have to leave your party immediately. Hey, let me know how it goes.

Another classy party tool is now available from a liquidation sale of former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski leftover from a big birthday bash he threw for his now ex-wife with company money. I bet he wishes he still had this in the big house.

Say your buddies are out of town and won’t be coming over for the big game, beer and pork rinds. This ingenious stand-in for male bonding will keep you yucking it up until the boys are back in town.

Another quandry of some men and some women is when the girlfriend is away. No problem if you have the Girlfriend Pillow. Of course another option is silicone breast implants which are back on the market after recent FDA approval, bit I guess those would have to be considered Girlfriend Pillows…

Finally, let those weenie cut and run Democrats drive a Prius. Raw-meat eating Republicans need to make their own personal statement on their war on terror. Buy your favorite neo-con one of these and you can tool around the neighborhood crushing those wimpy green machines. As one reviewer put it, “Finally a tank you can trust.”

As promised, here’s the first ever clip from a series I’m calling “Fifteenkey’s Film Festivus.” Tonights clip is from “Bad Santa,” a Christmas classic that sits on the holiday film spectrum far, far, far on the opposite side from, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Yes, this Santa is very bad. Enjoy!