I’m going to keep this post short, but do women get spam promising a smaller vagina? I doubt it, because women aren’t hung up on their size. Well, that size anyway. I hear there’s a worldwide shortage of silicone impeding production of solar panels. Hey, I know where it all is. No wonder women have so much energy. Oh, that’s silicon they use in solar… Sorry for that little interruption.

It’s not easy to get large amounts of real data on “male enhancement” spending even for the legit ED drugs, but the marketer of “Enzyte,” a “natural male enhancement” formula was recently convicted “of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud and money laundering.” Prosecutors charged Steve Warshak with scamming thousands of diminutive men out of some $100 Million Dollars! I’m sure there’s a good joke involving prison and his product, but this is a classy blog…

If one company rang up a hundred mil on the penis promise, what must the total spending be? A billion? Ten? A hundred? The marketing effort is huge. Here are some of the tens of spam that swell my inbox each week:

  • Size Matters
  • Mine is Bigger
  • Impress Your Girlfriend
  • Gain up to 4+
  • Gain up to 5+
  • Gain up to 6+
  • Be like Ron Jeremy
  • Did you hear about how big he was?
  • Extra inches to Shlong
  • Super-Size It Today!
  • Buy Cialis, Viagra Online – Save Up To 40%…

…and my personal favorite, “Get a bigger copulation organ today.” Copulation? That reminds of Dick Nixon asking David Frost pre-interview if he “did any fornicating over the weekend,” I guess those particular marketeers must be after the Napoleon segment of the Republican Party.

I don’t know. Someone, apparently not P.T. Barnum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Steve Warshak is now snaking his way through the justice system for selling a dream that a minnow could grow into a Trouser Trout, and thousands of dopes bought it. They’re the biggest dicks of all.