Month: July 2007

The saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun” may explain a common male malady, but time zips along quite well when you’re not having fun too. It’s hilarious that a visit to the link above includes the disclaimer, “This article or section is in need of attention from an expert on the subject.” I guess nobody’s quick to step up as an “expert” in this particular arena.

Wikipedia’s passage isn’t short, and includes an incredibly tough grading curve by Masters and Johnson, who declared we’re early earth shakers if we make the “Oh! Oh!” face before our partner more than fifty percent of the time. Um, what if that little achievement takes an hour, or two, or more? We’re still fast-lane losers? I think the more reasonable definition is the two minutes that other sex researchers have used as a yardstick. Sadly, a brief survey by Kinsey in the 1950s swiftly showed that 75% of men could not execute the two minute, um, drill, half the time they had the opportunity.

Suddenly the post ended, and she wondered why it couldn’t have lasted just a little bit longer…

A web search indicates unknown origin of the term, and there used to be this hot sauce, but “Sorry, this product is not currently available.” Now I don’t believe in Hell, or its mirror opposite “up there,” but what the hell is going on in the world?

• US astronauts, once one of the shining examples of American achievement and courage, are flying into space drunk. I guess they’re not so um, dependable, after all.

• Another place not to look for American heroes is in the professional sports world. Juicer Barry Bonds is one home run away from tying Hank Aaron’s career mark of 755. Now Mr. Aaron’s head is the same size as it was in 1957. Why isn’t Barry’s?

• The NBA has discovered one of its referees has been fixing games.

• Michael “Ookie” Vick allegedly ran a dog-fighting operation out of a home he owns. In addition to the viciousness of the fighting itself, losers were sometimes killed by “hanging, drowning, and slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.” Oh, and apparently Ookie consulted on the electrocution of another canine who “underperformed.”

• I’d throw the stock market slide into this mix, but after climbing 25% in 2007, I don’t think a correction is anything to panic about. I took the opportunity to take some profits and move money elsewhere. Riverbed wasn’t going up forever.

• A cat is predicting deaths in Providence, RI.

• Pepsi is going to hire Charlton Heston for a new “Aquafina” campaign. Yeah, Chuck will put down his NRA sanctioned automatic weapon and scream into the camera, “AQUAFINA IS… TAP WATER!!!” Speaking of tap, I recently picked up a PUR 2-Stage Dispenser. I just couldn’t keep buying water in plastic containers.

• Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is the latest Bush Administration official involved in a scandal. It seems Mr. Gonzales is lying to the Senate about a hospital bedside visit to former AG John Ashcroft, where Mr. Gonzales allegedly pried him to overrule a deputy and reauthorize Dubya’s secret program of warrantless electronic eavesdropping. I don’t know if he brought flowers.

• In other Bush legacy news, it now appears former NFL player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman was killed from less than 10 yards away, very likely by US troops. Of course the White House is doing everything it can to support our troops and in this case, they’re supporting the late Pat Tillman by claiming executive privilege and withholding documents from congressional investigators.

• The news isn’t all bad. Our esteemed Vice President Dick Cheney will undergo surgery today to replace a battery in his cardioverter-defibrillator. Medical technology is amazing. Imagine… they can implant a cardiac device and keep the Dark Lord alive even without a heart!

Maybe it’s not so bad and we’re not going all the way to hell; just to the Purgatory of a totalitarian state.

Traversing the streets of my hometown of Wakefield, MA, I was waiting for some warm, nostalgic feeling to lift my spirits from a downer of a week. It didn’t come. In spite of the familiar Lake Quanapowitt and the etched memory of streets leading to the house I grew up in, the context of it all is foreign because I’ve changed. The alienation I felt conjured up the cliché of Tom Wolfe’s, “You Can’t Go Home Again” later in the evening when my brother Kevin and I stopped into a past local haunt for a drink. His old pal Carl suggested we’d likely meet up with ghosts from our nights in zip code 01880. Granted, the place was packed; an unfortunate situation because the walls were adorned with Wakefield sports pictures from over the years I would have liked to have seen. One beer later, and after not seeing anyone we vaguely recognized, I said to Kevin, “it’s full of townies from the past twenty years; not thirty.”

I had printed directions to the Melrose Elks club and was executing them flawlessly (um, take a right, then another…) when I saw my uncle “Mucca” (Donald) and Aunt Irene entering the Knights of Columbus hall for his 70th birthday bash. I see. (Note to self: read an invitation prior to the whole Google map thing…) The first familiar face I saw was that of my cousin Denise. She’s a beautiful woman just like her mother, but her bright face leaves no doubt she’s a Daley. Denise has two “K” named daughters, who I remember, probably incorrectly as Katy and Kaylee. Cousin Donnie couldn’t make the party, but it’s probably just as well. The thought of Kevin chasing Donnie around the party with Donnie screaming for his life is a 40 year old memory from 743 Saratoga Street that nobody would want repeated. Not at Muccapalooza.

Jimmy and his wife Nanette were there. Jim sang some Sinatra and pulled it off like a decent Vegas impersonator. Nanette spent most of the night cradling and dancing with her young nephew while her sister served a very cool cake of her own creation. From my seat in the bleachers, Cousin Jimmy is a very kind and caring guy. He organized and hosted the party, and saw to it that every attendee enjoyed it. Oh, and the food was catered by Spinelli’s in Eastie and included Piantedosi rolls… a nice touch. It’s not the first time I’ve seen Jimmy in action looking after others. Some fifteen years ago during a visit to Mucca and Irene’s, Jimmy absolutely doted on my little Megan. Jim and I made plans to catch a Sox game with the old boys while my dad is up from Florida in the next few weeks…

The scene that took place as I parked my car in a tardy haste was touching, or so I heard. Mucca dampened (his eyes, not his pants) at the sight of family and friends. I wonder what went through his mind in those moments, for the ranks have thinned considerably in the past decade. “Spooky,” “Trav” and my Uncle Mitchell are all gone. “Red” couldn’t make it. His Adeline doesn’t get out much anymore. Carol Dumont and Pauline said hi and asked how my Mom was. Not quite as good as them I thought as I watched them tear up the dance floor… I’m sure my Dad wanted to be there, but he’s still tying up some loose ends in Florida after losing his “Peg.”

I also wonder what the hell Mucca was thinking when he let the DJ dress him up like the “Village People” cop for an all-guy dance disaster to “YMCA.” I know Mucca liked and respected the DJ. Earlier he told me, “He’s from Eastie. His father was a fighter.” Still, I though it was unusual (and hilarious) cruelty inflicted on the birthday boy and a staid member of the senior set…

There were some classic stills, many in the Polaroid monochrome of prior generations. Young Mucca, his wedding day with Irene, his father Mike, and of course, Lil the Thrill… The matriarch. Of our grandmother, Jim said, “She’s the reason we’re all the way we are.”

Any frequenter of this digital destination knows I over think things now and then. In this case, I thought about how the kids of my generation in this Daley family who were raised by parents who stayed together are now themselves still together with their spouses in long-term first marriages. Those of us who grew up with divorce, um, aren’t. I’m not sure there’s a correlation and I’m certainly not blaming anyone for my own life’s choices, but it is an interesting detail. Also given thought is my own lack of involvement with my Dad’s side of the family. That’s going to change. Maybe I can’t go home, but I can enjoy more time with my family.

Those were the words of Father Mark that stuck with me as he spoke from the heart about Caroline Elizabeth (Dushinski) Daley. My Dad’s partner of 32 years and wife of 24 passed away in the early morning hours July 16th. She died of complications stemming from a back injury suffered more than fifty years ago. The last time I saw her in October, she was hunched over to the point that her back was literally parallel to the ground. As we’d walk around “The Villages,” people would stare. That would really upset my father, but not her. Caroline was good. That’s it. Just good. To the day she has hospitalized, and in spite of constant pain, she led a very active life including bingo, sunbathing and cards with the girls, volunteering at church and taking care of Dad. In the house this week, there was a sad void without her buzzing around the kitchen cooking or asking if any clothes needing laundering. She was a little dynamo. Her affliction didn’t stop her from living.

The Villages is full of people older than my Dad and far worse off physically. Just last evening before a huge thunderbolt sent us scurrying for the local karaoke joint, my brother Corey and I watched an old woman shuffle slowly to a seat in the town square where there’s music and 2 for 1 “happy hour” drinks daily. The frail and gray woman was carrying an oxygen unit and had a clear tube running from it into the point in her body where a tracheotomy had occurred. She sat with her daughter and proceeded to rock out… head bobbing and feet tapping to the music. Of course there are seniors in great shape too. One woman of my Dad’s 70+ vintage danced the whole time we were there. I mean an aerobic dance, not some slow shoe shuffling some of the guys try to pass off as dancing.

Speaking of seniors in shape, we met three of them that were 10 – 15 years older than we guessed. We met and chatted briefly with them Wednesday night at the karaoke place. The next morning Corey and I assessed their ages to be “early 50’s, 45 and 45 respectively for Joan, Susan and Ginette, a French-Canadian woman who shares the name of my lovely ex-wife. Dad disagreed and pegged Joan and the tall blond Susan to be “at least 60.” The brothers protested strongly, but figured we’d never really know. Well, Thursday night we bumped into the trio again and discovered they were looking at property. Coyly, or pathetically patronizing, I said, “aren’t you a little young for the Villages?” “I’m 66 years old,” shot back Joan without hesitancy. For the record, Susan was 60 and Ginette 55. We hung out with them until about 11 when they had to depart due to an 8:10 tee time. Living.

Corey and Dad will begin driving up to New England in the next few days. I’m on a plane home. I think the best thing for Dad is to get out of Dodge for awhile and he agrees. I’ll drive back down with him whenever he’s ready and will likely take Kyle. A tres generation road-trip with be good for all of us… It’s going to be hard for Dad in that house. Today he gave me some of Caroline’s jewelry for Megan. I also saw him walking with that cane. I bet he’ll be glad to get rid of that. One question he kept asking through tears was “What am I going to do without her?” Share life, Dad. Share life.

Not in any order except numerical…

1. The Sting – A wonderful and complex story that satisfied a young and hungry mind.

2. 2001 A Space Odyssey – A big bang mind expander with the greatest scene transition in the history of film.

3. Sideways – Describe your life as a glass of wine.

4. Manhattan – Woody Allen’s hand written love letter to his favorite city.

5. Bull Durham – A love triangle between Susan Sarandon, Kevin Costner and baseball.

6. The Natural – A period piece that never was, but we wish were.

7. Field of Dreams – It’s all about playing catch with Dad.

8. Apollo 13 – NASA kicks ass with project management.

9. Best in Show – “He went for her like she’s made outta ham.”

10. Brian’s Song – “I love Brian Piccolo.” First movie that made me ball my eyes out.

11. It’s a Wonderful Life – Really, it is.

12. Titanic – Circumstance trumps the love of your life.

13. Lost in Translation – Two words: Scarlett Johannsen. Billy Murray was great too…

14. Forrest Gump – A mentally challenged man lives.

15. Pollock – The film opened my eyes to his art. Interviewer: “How do you know when you’re finished with a painting?” Jackson Pollock: “How do you know when you’re finished making love?”

16. The Lion King – When Megan was little we had the soundtrack. One day after she biked with me on a run, we got back into the car and the sad music of Mufasa’s death was playing. My little girl burst into tears and said, “Daddy, I don’t want you to die!” I’m still here, my girl.

17. Jaws – I still fear swimming in the ocean.

18. The School of Rock – “Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I’m out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!”

19. Almost Famous – “Some people have a hard time explaining rock ‘n’ roll. I don’t think anyone can really explain rock ‘n’ roll. Except Pete Townshend, but that’s okay. Rock ‘n’ roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking… and it’s not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it’s a voice that says, “Here I am… and fuck you if you can’t understand me.” And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock ‘n’ roll can save the world… all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music.”

20. Batman – I still can’t understand why Jack didn’t win an Oscar!

21. A Beautiful Mind – Speaking of Oscar’s, how did Russell Crowe not win for this?

22. The Sound of Music – Do I need to explain this one?

23. Dirty Harry – “Do you feel lucky?”

24. The Outlaw Josey Wales – When Clint spits and squints, better run for dem hills…

25. The Road Warrior – Aussie classic of a post-apocalyptic Nascar/WWE mosh pit.

26. The Matrix – “Blue pill or the Red pill?”

27. Animal House – “Road Trip!”

28. Stripes – As you can see, I like my comedy dumb.

29. Austin Powers (all) – Never underestimate the power of mojo.

30. Airplane – Maybe my favorite comedy ever.

31. Walk th
e Line – Joaquin Phoenix is the Man in Black.

32. The Godfather – Not a big fan of violence, but this is a masterpiece. Clemenza: “Leave the gun. [pause] Take the cannolis.”

33. Memento – An ass-backward brain tease.

34. Groundhog Day – You know, Bill Murray keeps turning up in this list…

35. Life is Beautiful – An extraordinary human being finds the beauty buried under the darkness of the Holocaust.

36. As Good as it Gets – What if this is?

37. My Dinner with Andre – Just two guys having dinner. Riveting.

38. Dumb and Dumber – See: “Stripes” above.

39. Amadeus – Mozart: the first rock star.

40. Gattaca – “I was never more certain of how far away I was from my goal than when I was standing right beside it.”

41. Contact – A great Carl Sagan book with Jodi Foster in the lead role.

42. A Christmas Story – “Ralphie!”

43. Elf – “Call me Elf one more time!!!”

44. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind –

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It’s going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

45. Stand By Me – “It’s like God gave you something, man. All those stories you can make up. And He said, this is what we got for you kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless there’s someone there to look out for them.”

46. Back to the Future – “I guess you guys aren’t ready for that, yet. But your kids are gonna love it.”

47. Close Encounters of the Third Kind – I love the little red UFO that’s always playing catch up.

48. Requiem for a Dream – Incredibly disturbing look at the hellish death heroin robs from life.

49. The Grapes of Wrath – The film helps us understand the frugality of a generation.

50. Apocalypse Now – Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness” in Vietnam.

51. All the President’s Men – “Follow the money.” Chronicled the worst embarrassment in the history of the presidency… until now.

52. Rear Window – First of the genius Al Hitchcock’s films I saw.

53. The Usual Suspects – A plot twisted like shoelaces in bicycle spokes.

54. Young Frankenstein – Mel Brooks monochrome classic. “For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.”

55. Raiders of the Lost Ark – When faced with a fancy, sword wielding nemesis, just shoot him.

56. The Song Remains the Same – Many a midnight showing for someone who never saw Zep. Um, Live Aid doesn’t count.

57. Magnolia – It’s not every day you see it raining bullfrogs.

58. Sling Blade – “I like them French fried potaters.”

59. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid –

Butch Cassidy: What’s the matter with you?
Sundance Kid: I can’t swim.
Butch Cassidy: (laughing) Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.

60. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Jack Nicholson, superstar.

61. American Beauty – Kevin Spacey locked in life. “Look at me, jerking off in the shower… This will be the high point of my day; it’s all downhill from here.”

62. Dogma – Well, there’s Salma Hayek and plenty of great dialogue about the hipocracy of organized religion: “What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Te
levangelism.”

63. Good Will Hunting – Local boys do well. “Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.”

64. This Is Spinal Tap – “These go to eleven.”

65. Lost in America – “You are no longer allowed to use the words ‘nest’ and ‘egg’ in the same sentence.”

66. Saving Private Ryan – A glimpse of why they were “the greatest generation.”

67. Cinema Paradiso – Just see it.

68. The Wizard of Oz – Scared the shit out of me when the lion was shouted down by the wizard and dove through that glass…

69. Finding Neverland – “I suppose it’s like the ticking crocodile, isn’t it? Time is chasing after all of us, isn’t that right?”

70. High Fidelity – Some autobiographical moments for sure. “The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don’t wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway… I’ve started to make a tape… in my head… for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.”

71. Lawrence of Arabia – Epic performance by Peter O’Toole.

72. Finally, all the Harry Potter films with my son Kyle.

What have I missed?

Really it’s a sock shelf, but a few clean pair were added this morning. Just the basics… grey, blue, black and white. It’s also time to rearrange my “blog ideas” file which has inflated with little notes to self that just haven’t grown into full blog posts.

Accountability is severely lacking in our society and is dragging us down. It’s frustrating when no one really seems to be held accountable for the truly serious societal infractions… Lewis “Scooter” Libby receives a “Get out of Jail Free” card from “Dubya,” in spite of Libby’s conviction on 4 felony charges related to the White House cover-up of their disclosure of the then-classified identity of covert CIA operative, Valerie Plame. Oh, and she was outed because her husband contradicted the White House assertion that Iraq had the yet to be found “Weapons of Mass Destruction.” To help quell any public dissent on this lack of accountability, Paris Hilton was sent to jail. Holding people accountable for their behavior is partially intended help prevent similar deeds by others in the future. If government officials are immune from accountability, the system will gradually lose credibility and unravel. Clearly the Chinese don’t want that to happen there.

This article states a man’s favorite female celebrity can reveal the kind of woman he wants. I’ve completed my own exhaustive fantas… uh, study and have determined the composition of my ideal woman through a very scientific method:

• Sophia Loren 27.43%
• Salma Hayek 12.13%
• Jennifer Esposito 15.25%
• Julianne Moore 27.60%
• Margaret Thatcher 17.59%

I’m not surprised at the lack of blond representation in the equation… I’ve dated only one over the years. Actually we were engaged, but brunettes have dominated the list. I know why, but I’ll save that for another time…

This is an amazing picture of the new Copetas boys. Kyle and I visited with them last weekend and it was completely chill. Jeff and Steph are really lucky they have it so easy with twins…

Here’s something to get you thinking…

And another reason why the arts are important.

Finally, and coming back around to accountability, apparently a third of bloggers risk dismissal from their companies for things they’ve written. After a lame post like this, I’d better be careful…

“I saw Floyd” is a highlight of my rock show resume. On June 27, 1977, Dillard and I ventured into the old Boston Garden with probably eight dollar tickets to see the band on their “Animals” tour. Here’s a taste of what we heard and saw:

I listened to the record in its entirety this morning while housecleaning. With music today consisting of ringtone worthy singles plus 9 or 10 throwaway tracks per record, “Animals” is truly an album, deserving to be swallowed whole by your hungry ears. Here are reviews by Pitchfork, AllMusic and Sputnikmusic.

While it doesn’t generally receive the same “classic” status of “Dark Side of the Moon” or “Wish You Were Here,” it’s easily my favorite. Last.FM’s “moods and themes” for “Animals” gave me a laugh and explain why:

Moods

• Bittersweet
• Autumnal
• Melancholy
• Brooding
• Bitter
• Hypnotic
• Acerbic
• Malevolent
• Poignant
• Wintry
• Ominous
• Menacing
• Reflective
• Nocturnal
• Cynical/ Sarcastic
• Eerie
• Detached
• Theatrical

Themes

• Regret
• Introspection
• Late Night

My connection to the record was burned into me later in the summer of ’77 when Dillard and I packed our belongings into a 1968 Camaro convertible and drove to Tucson and the rest of our lives. Leaving my mother and brothers was hard and a few tears burst on the driveway at 67 Greenwood Avenue that night. We spent so much of our youth on that ground. It was a multipurpose surface for basketball, street hockey and installation of 8-Track players… Our lives were there, but we were ready to leave it 2800 miles behind.

1977 was pre-MADD, and packed along with everything we owned were two cases of Heineken on ice, a power hitter and a case full of cassette tapes: Zep, AC/DC, Boston, KISS, BOC… We reached the entrance to the Mass Pike West around midnight and after 30 minutes of silence. Mike offered to turn around, but I declined. The University of Arizona had a cool ring to it. After we passed the toll booth I grabbed a couple “green cylinders” and got the power hitter on deck. Mike said, “I’ve got the perfect tunes for this.” He popped in “Animals.”

A Wilco hangover has me drowning in the musical hair of the dog that bit me last Thursday night. A search of their song title on flickr produces these photos and the one featured here by Incandenza.

“Sicko” is on my list of current films to see, along with well, not much. If I can find “Waitress” or “Manufactured Landscapes” I’ll check ‘em out before “Harry Potter – Order of the Phoenix” rises July 11th. Kyle is counting the days…

Michael Moore has an agenda. His thesis in “Sicko” is that our healthcare system gouges the sick to enrich corporations. I recall prefacing my remarks to someone about “Fahrenheit 911” with “go into it understanding he has a strong point of view.” “911” took on the Bush administration for linking that day to Iraq as justification for a war that now is longer than our time in WWII. “Bowling for Columbine” took on the Omega man and the gun lobby, and “Roger and Me” attacked General Motors for giving CEO Roger Smith millions in salary increases while fired ex-employees were getting evicted from their homes in Flint, MI.

For these indiscretions, Mr. Moore is derided by Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush as a hater of America. He’s a dissenter, I’ll give you that, but does he hate our country? Thomas Jefferson once said, “dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” Perhaps his agenda is to shine a movie spotlight on important areas we might improve in our society, or at least debate. Sadly, a growing majority of citizens have no interest or ability to debate the environment, healthcare, corporate governance or the military industrial complex. Today while they’re home scanning the dial for a Paris Hilton 4th of July special, our flags adorn the coffins of their children.

What’s the future look like on the canvas of your life? Does it resemble photographic realism with intricate details, or just broad strokes of impressions? How are you creating that future image? What’s your plan? What are your goals? Will you let the future happen or make it happen? In business, we set ‘SMART” goals and attach bonuses to their achievement:

• S Specific
• M Measurable
• A Attainable
• R Relevant
• T Time-bound

It’s amazing how people’s business behavior is so strongly influenced by their goals. Sometimes the behaviors required to reach personal goals conflict with the goals of others or even overall corporate goals. Still, like salmon swimming upstream in pursuit of their goal, individuals fight blindly through the onrushing water toward their own goals, sometimes ending gnashed in the jaws of a bear. The point is the power of goals.

Do you set goals? Not “I wish I was rich” or “I’d like to have a girlfriend” or “I want a new job,” but SMART, written goals.

What are your goals?