Yesterday was peak freak for me with the COVID-19 “Coronavirus.” My daughter told me she was sick but said my 18 y/o granddaughter would take her pre-teen cousins to meet us at our local Friday night pizza place for dinner. Here’s what my mind did:

• Megan somehow got COVID-19 (even though there’s no evidence it’s in our local area).
• She infected the girls.
• They’ll infect me.
• I’ll die and will never be able to watch “The Big Lebowski” again.

I canceled Friday Night Family Dinner, breaking a streak of many, many weeks.

WTF? Why?

Well, I consume a lot of information and am only a few years away from needing my 401K, so the news over the past 2 weeks has been, uh, unsettling. Plus, I read there was a run on Oat Milk.

Saturday morning I read, The Real Danger of the Coronavirus in Medium. I recommend it. It encourages us to take precautions, but live our lives, noting “the power of fear is a far greater threat than any virus.” It goes on to make what in my mind is the key point, “For the media, whose life-blood is a dramatic story with minute-by-minute developments, the coronavirus is a gift.”

My near constant news feed gave me Coronaparanoia. Of course, to magnify the news itself is the sheer incompetence of Donald Trump and the sycophants surrounding him in the Executive Branch, and the medias gleeful reporting of Trump’s conflicting messages and mismanagement of the crisis.

Yesterday morning, after placing a COVID-19 statement in the header of the online community I’m responsible for, I went out and did normal Saturday errands. Overall, I observed traffic to be a bit lighter than usual, but at some local retailers, the disinfectant wipes seemed to throb with attention grabbing neon as I walked in the door. It is nice some stores offer those wipes at their entrances and I used one every time. In an attempt to battle my Coronaparanoia, last night we went out to dinner.

COVID-19 is dangerous, no doubt and I think it’s going to get much worse before it gets better. If I were older, had a compromised immune system, or was in otherwise poor health, I might be more ultra-cautious. I may still get there depending on the progress (or lack of) managing this outbreak but living in fear is a self-imposed limitation on living.

Now I must wash my hands.

“…to lose the weight

you used to need

to throw around.”

“Dogs” – David Gilmour / Roger Waters

It’s weigh-in day and I missed my goal by 0.8 of a pound, but it’s OK…

• Good habits are becoming well, habits.
• Frequency of exercise is increasing.
• Eating mostly vegan is not at all unpleasant.
• My jeans are beginning to fit like those of a Norge Repairman.

I’m determined.

Sometimes I come in there and have no idea what’s going to come out. Then the voice in my head speaks. It goes something like this:

Voice: “Megan turned 31 yesterday.”

Voice: “Hey, didn’t you start this blog on her birthday?”

Me: (Looks through the archive and discovers Sweet 16.)

Voice: “Isn’t there some song lyric that goes…”

Me: (Searches song with lyric turned 31)

And here we are. I did start this blog on Megan’s birthday in 2005. Fifteen years of Fifteenkey has produced 905 posts, though things have slowed since 2012-13 with not one post authored in 2014. I wonder what the fuck was going on then? Oh. Dr. Joe. Panic Attacks. Celexa. Yeah, good times.

Anyway, since then I discovered meditation and happiness. The practice has trained my mind to stop unproductive trains of thought as they try to tunnel down into darkness.  Actually, that shit never happens anymore. Huh. I guess a millimeter of improvement over a few years adds up.

Which brings me to my current muse, the weight-loss thing. Tomorrow is a weigh-in day and I’m hoping to be on my schedule of 5 pounds a month. It’s going to be close, and the superhero-sized piece of birthday cake I had last night won’t help. The good news is that the weight-loss is taking stress off of my arthritic hips so today’s workout was the first back-to-back workout days in years and I feel… (I just got up to walk around a bit) pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, good!  Maybe I’ll go for the trifecta tomorrow. The weigh-in will happen regardless.

Oh, and the birthday girl got engaged last night! Yep. You know that one line in the Bob Seger song that goes, “You better get yourself a partner?” Well, she did and he’s a wonderful human. Congratulations, my girl!

I’m in one right now after a 2.62-mile spin on the elliptical. I’m making progress. That follows a 2.96-mile jaunt on Friday.  We’ll see how my hip responds.

Since I’m just cooling off, all I have are some random thoughts.

• Why does everything have to be a “hack?” Diet hacks. Sex hacks (ouch). HR hacks. Productivity hacks… Enough of the laziness. Use your words. There are lots of them. Besides, many people aren’t as cool as you and don’t understand the connotation you’re attempting. They could think it’s going after their passwords and avoid your content altogether.
• Bernie. The dude has now won Iowa, NH and yesterday Nevada – convincingly. Still, there’s palpable hate for the Democratic Socialist and no more apparent than on Twitter. What a shitshow that place is. Anyway, I think the Democratic “Establishment” and the mainstream media that supports it is beginning to realize the Bern could likely be the Democratic nominee, and if they want to defeat Cheeto Jesus they’re going to have to get behind his movement. The hatred between supporters of Sanders and supporters of the other Democrats concerns me. Bernie’s going to need all Democrats to beat the Orange Menace. Poking Democrats who don’t support him right now in the eye isn’t helpful.  In this Primary cycle, I’ve donated to both Bernie and Elizabeth Warren, but I’ll vote for whatever Democrat ends up winning the nomination. Still, I think Bernie v. Trump presents the starkest choice for voters and will show who we are.
• Yeah, I’ll vote Blue no matter who, but what a smug dick Mike Bloomberg is. Mayor Pete isn’t far behind.
• I’d like to ask President Obama, “if you knew your presidency would unleash the kind of hate that would result in the election of Donald Trump, would you have run in the first place?”
• I don’t think the Houston Astros and the players who participated in the cheating have been punished nearly enough. And yeah, if it’s proven the Red Sox cheated in a similar way, they should be severely punished. I’m no Pete Rose fan, but he received a lifetime ban for betting on his own team.  This scandal is worse imo.
• Oh, here’s another diet hack tip. When dining out for dinner, eat 1/2 your meal and bag the rest for a lunch. Trust me. You’ll be quite satiated and the lunch will be awesome and free.

I’m contemplating a 4-hour round-trip to see the Drive-By Truckers in Portland, ME on this school night. I’m feeling the need for thrashing guitars. They’d probably play this new Mike Cooley song, too.

So yeah, losing sixty pounds in a year may have seemed a bit pie in the sky when I planted that flag to begin 2020, but I’m ahead of schedule and seven weeks in I’ve established some new habits that will help me keep lowering the bar.  This week was more stressful than most, yet I resisted stress-eating in all but one situation, and I paid for it.  On Thursday after a 2PM meeting to hear about the Kronos merger with Ultimate software, I walked by a table on our 12th floor “Oasis” covered with food left over from lunch in a nearby conference room.  Now there have been numerous times this year that I’ve walked by a similarly arranged table and kept on walking. Not on this day. I glided in and scanned the offerings… Rolls. Cookies. Some chocolate thingies. All of them would have been instantly inhaled by old me. This time I opted for a half a rollup with veggies and hummus. Yeah, I thought. “That’s a good boy.” While it looked like the best option, to keep on walking would have been much better as it turns out. You see the food probably arrived at 11:30 and it was now approaching 3:30 – that’s 4 hours. I contemplated that a bit during several trips to the bathroom between 9:30 and 10:30 Wednesday night. Sorry to dump that on you. Yeah. It could have been worse.

Anyway, the habits and other things working toward weight loss…

• Portions – Just make them a little smaller and prioritize greens
• Seconds – Sometimes they’re tempting so just take a bite or two, not another plate or two
• Meat – For health and  animal compassion reasons, I’m greatly reducing it in my diet
• Dairy – Same thing – Have I mentioned how awesome Oat Milk is? I use it in coffee and in oatmeal (worked in quiche, too). I did some research on non-dairy milk options and for a number of environmental, humanitarian and animal compassion reasons, Oat got my vote.  And it tastes great! Hemp milk was gross. Hump your hemp some other way. My favorite is Oatly Barista Edition followed closely by Califia Barista Blend.  It’s a little pricy, but it’s better for the planet, better for cows, and better for the near slave laborers harvesting coconuts. Last Sunday I was at Pie in the Sky Bakery and Cafe in Woods Hole where I ordered a latte. The guy taking my order asked, “what kind of milk do you want?” “What do you have?” “Whole, skim, almond, coconut, soy, uh… Oat.” “Yes, Oat!” I think Beth may have done a slight eye-roll, but it was the best latte I’ve ever had.
• Sugar – The oat milk has allowed me to eliminate added sugar from my coffee. Doing a little math,  that should save me between 36,400 and 43,680 calories in a year – that’s equivalent to 10.4 to 12.5 pounds.
• Oatmeal – A wonder food. Sure, it seems boring especially when you’re out for breakfast when it competes against eggs, toast, home fries, hollandaise sauce, and yeah, bacon, but add some raisins and walnuts and one tablespoon of maple syrup… I’ve been doing a single serving (1/4 cup dry) of the steel-cut stuff and it’s very satisfying. My grandson, Luca loves it, too.
• Quiche – We’ve had one per week for a few weeks now. Yeah, eggs. I do buy the free-range “certified humane” eggs from a local farm, The Country Hen, but it’s not lost on me that I’m eating the unborn…

I mean, I just don’t think I can go “full Vegan,” but I’m trying to do better. My Auntie San put it best when she said, “Yeah, I can be a Vegan as long as I can have a cheeseburger once in a while.” Exactly. Thinking about it, I wonder how far can we possibly take it and still survive? What about “the food chain?” Does a lion consider animal compassion when it pounces on an antelope and rips its neck open for dinner? To take it even further, how do we know plants don’t suffer when we rip them out of the ground to make a Caesar Salad? There are some who believe all matter in the universe has some degree of consciousness. One day as I was contemplating this concept of panpsychism while weeding in my yard, I was momentarily horrified at the feel of tearing roots from the ground and ending the life of a weed. Yeah, I might have been high…

To make a long story short, the elevator continues its slow but steady descent and my aching hips are feeling a bit better.

Yesterday Kyle and I were driving to get “Boys Regulars” when the subject of “Toy Story” came up. Fast forward to what blew me away – the film was released in 1995. Since it’s Sunday morning, some of you may not be doing math in your head right now, so…

2020 – 1995 = 25

It looks like “Interactive Woody” rises on command, too.

Twenty-five years? Where did they go? Oh, and Toy Story 3? You know, the one that made you cry when it looked like Buzz, Jessie, Slinky Dog, Rex, Hamm, the Potato Heads, and Woody were going to end the trilogy in an incinerator? Well, if you didn’t, you should have cried. Anyway, that one came out in 2010 and you’re on your own on the math. And speaking of Woody, Beth told me that earlier in her career, the company she worked for had some kind of a promotion with a toy called “Interactive Woody.” Let’s just say that had fun with that one.

What else happened in 1995?

• 168 people were killed at a Federal building in Oklahoma City, including 8 Federal Marshals and 19 children. The act of domestic terrorism was led by an angry white guy, Timothy McVeigh. He considered government officials “fascist tyrants” and “storm troopers” and proclaimed, “ATF, all you tyrannical people will swing in the wind one day for your treasonous actions against the Constitution of the United States. Remember the Nuremberg War Trials.”
• OJ Simpson, who was obviously guilty was found innocent.

The more things change…

No, that’s a typo. It’s eight, as in down eight pounds against a monthly goal of five toward sixty-one this year. It’s a good start but lots of people have good beginnings to a New Year’s resolution. February got off well, too. Yesterday I pushed through a sub-nine minute mile on the elliptical, but my left hip and knee ached through the night to thank me. Taking weight off those joints is a big part of this effort. Still, while exercise is good for cardiovascular, pulmonary, and muscular health, it’s a fairly small part of weight loss as my NordicTrack readout shows.  That 381 calories was replenished and then some in about the five minutes it took Beth and me to finish off an amazing Burratta appetizer at Dario’s, the best restaurant in the area – though we haven’t been to the new Brady’s yet. Dario’s has been at their River Street, Fitchburg location for years, but we didn’t check it out until a couple of months ago. O M G… I’ll do a review at some point – I want to do it justice. Sorry, this post is rambling, but it’s a blog, not Hemingway. Really, this one is just a weight loss check-in. Oh, and here’s another calorie-curbing tip: Don’t bring the 8″ Double Layer Variety Cake to your daughter’s after dinner. My small slice of carrot and chocolate = about 680 calories… Tip #2: When dining out, eat half your entree and bring the rest home for lunch or dinner later in the week. Really. You ate enough.

“There is a moment…” 

–Dr. Mann

Note: My reading of the scale yesterday must have been an early morning hallucination. Anyway, back at it.

In the 1991 comedy, “What About Bob?” Richard Dreyfuss and Bill Murray play a psychiatrist and patient. The movie works, of course, because the doctor is crazier than the patient and the two actors have great chemistry. One of the comic props in the film is the book, “Baby Steps,” written and shamelessly plugged by Dr. Leo Marvin, played with perfect smugness by Mr. Dreyfuss.

• Baby Steps?
• It means setting small reasonable goals for yourself one day at a time.
• One tiny step at a time
• Baby steps

Baby steps seem appropriate to describe the process for trying to lose weight. Here are some of the baby steps that I’ve learned from so far:

• Baby steps a single serving of oatmeal will do…
• Baby steps don’t stop at the bagel store…
• Baby steps I don’t need a second helping…
• Baby steps or a third…
• Baby steps just one or two of Kyle’s fries will do…
• Baby steps tonight I’ll have water instead of a beer…
• Baby steps I don’t need to eat when I’m bored or as a distraction…
• Baby steps eat what you want, just take a little less…

These baby steps have me down 7.8 4.8 pounds halfway through the month against a five-pound goal to 253.2 256.2 without a functioning NordicTrack… (That’s another story…)

If I can keep this going for the remaining 95.9% of the year that remains, I may be able to say, just like Mr. Murray’s Bob Wiley, “I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful… I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful… I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful…”

A guy I follow on LinkedIn and Instagram posted recently about “B2B marketers trying desperately to link 2020 (year) and 20/20 (vision) to help peddle their products…” Sure, it may be 20/20 hindsight by then, but I look forward to his “2020 Top 20” of simpleminded 2020 – 20/20 analogies toward the end of 2020.

Since it’s January 1, 2020 as I began to write this, let’s do a resolution post. I’m not a fan of them mostly since they don’t happen, but nonetheless…

I resolve to lose 61 pounds in 2020.

The awful truth on New Year’s Day 2020

Sure, it seems like a lot, but it’s only 5.083333333333333 LB’s a month. I’m pretty sure I can put that on in a weekend.  Hey, the odds (and the fans) were against Roger Maris in 1961, but on October 1^st of that year, he belted home run #61. The baseball establishment then put a freakin’ asterisk next to it in the record books because he did it in a 162-game season when Yankee God, Babe Ruth swatted 60 in only 154 games.

So why go public?  Well, it’s not like people I know don’t know I’m fat.  Hell, I’ve been battling this since my mother traumatized me back in the 60’s in the “husky” pants section. And the last time I successfully lost tonnage was in a public contest at work, so I figure that if I don’t put it out there to my audience of 3 or 4 people, there’s even less chance of it happening because only I’ll know of my abject failure.

I could go on and on about this, but the new year is slipping away. I’ll update my progress or lack thereof here and share any insights I learn about what works for me and what doesn’t. Here’s a starter set:

• Losing weight is about portion control – just eat less
• Delicious and satisfying white carbs like pasta, rice, bread and sugar are your enemy
• THINK about why you’re peering into the fridge before taking any action
• Stress eating can be reduced by reducing stress in other ways – exercise, meditation

There’s my resolution. I wish you luck with yours.