Category: Uncategorized (Page 85 of 96)

I heard this line from Elliott Smith’s “Baby Britain” (From “XO,” 1998) on the way home from the gym tonight. It echoed the sentiments of an email I received earlier today. In part, it read, “Ned (not his real name) was a great guy, but we weren’t exactly on the same intellectual level if you know what I mean.” Yeah, I do know what you mean. It’s just one of the many “tests” we all must pass in the mating game. As I get older, I find myself overanalyzing these things with regard to women. The truth is I think I’m just looking for something to disqualify them from being “the one.” The one I’m afraid to let in. My issues aside, I think as single thirty or forty-somethings get used to the independence and freedom their lifestyle affords them, the less apt they are to “settle” for a relationship with a person that doesn’t measure up in one category or another. Intelligence. Honesty. Physical appeal. Empathy. A sense of humor. Class. Dignity. Self-esteem. Hey, the New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd even asks in a new book, “Are Men Necessary?” As the subject of her punching bag of a book, I guess we are.

Last Sunday, after a particularly strenuous day of shopping for Megan’s new school stuff, she Kyle and I stopped into the Olive Garden for a quick dinner. Megan is a soup lover, so I recommended the Pasta Fagioli. She devoured it and took advantage of their “bottomless bowl” policy. It looked pretty simple, so this morning I made it. Pretty much anything I see in a restaurant, I can replicate in the kitchen. In this case, I didn’t make the traditional recipe (including celery), but guessed the ingredients based on how it looked. (Note: Tasting helps one to nail the shopping list.) First, I browned an onion, mushrooms, green and red peppers, followed by some ground sirloin after removing the veggies. To the browned beef, I added six cups of water and three Knorrs beef bullion cubes for stock. To that I added two cans of crushed tomatoes, a bag of frozen peas/corn/green beans, some garlic, cannelloni beans, and one pound of al dente Barilla Ditalini.

At some point in the process, perhaps while Kyle was “testing” the ground sirloin, he hit the brew with enough salt to mummify an Egyptian queen. The final concoction’s a tad salty, but a nice hearty soup for a cool, damp November day.

I took the plunge into the world of HDTV. From what I hear, my 42” LG Plasma should be here “soon.”

Now before I can drench myself in rich, 1080i splendor, I must purchase a new DVD player and all necessary cables. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, let’s start with the DVD player and then get right into navigating wires like slashing through dense vines in the Amazon. (No, not the store, the rainforest following the river.)

DVD manufacturers now offer “upconverting” players that “process” a standard DVD 480p image and increase it to an HD level 720p or 1080i. A pretty cool demonstration of the difference can be seen on this picture of Yoda. Tough call on whether the quality is worth it, especially since the “upconverters” are more expensive than progressive scan players.

Welcome to the Jungle
As sweet as my new plasma is, it has only one DVI input. DVI carries high resolution Digital Video, but is being replaced by HDMI which carries both high resolution Digital Video and Digital Audio. In order to receive HDTV from Comcast, I have to upgrade my set-top-box (STB), but the Comcast website doesn’t indicate whether their HD STB’s output the signal via DVI or HDMI. So, my STB may have HDMI and the “upscaling” DVD’s only upscale via HDMI. Um, looks like I need 2 HDMI inputs, but I have only 1 DVI input. What’s a boy to do? Well, after cringing at $250.00 HDMI/DVI converter boxes found on the net, I discovered one for $38.99! And… this bad boy can handle either two HDMI inputs, two DVI inputs, or one of each, then outputting (I don’t care if it’s not a word. Hang with me…) to either an HDMI or DVI output!!! Oh, and then there’s the cables… Very few manufacturers include them, but don’t pay $100.00 or more per DVI/HDMI cable. There are good ones here and here.

Got all that? Stuff like this is why “Home Improvement” was so popular.

This recently discovered picture of Albert Einstein is yet another reason I love the Internet…

On what seems to be an annual basis, whether I need to or not, I peer into the abyss of my underwear drawer and see nothing but the tattered remains of the few, the proud, the Hanes Boxer Briefs. Yes, they were willing to fight on, protecting me from… well, I guess from the inside of my pants, but time waits for no one, and the onslaught they endured day after day finally broke them. I suppose if they enjoyed shore leave once in a while, their morale would have been stronger, but these guys saw nothing but life in the trenches. Their only respite was a bath now and then. God forbid I ever got into “an accident” and the poor paramedics had to see me in those. Yes, it was time for reinforcements. Now going out to buy new skivies is not something I look forward to, so I thought I’d see if shopping for underwear in my underwear was feasible. I’m happy to report there’s a lot of undies on the net. Some I saw on ebay seemed not quite new, so I stayed off that potentially dangerous, um, highway.

I ended up at a lovely little storefront called One Hanes Place. It sells only new briefs, and also has cool features like the “Bra Finder” for those of you so inclined. At One Hanes Place, bloomer browsing was a breeze, and I boldly bought boxer briefs, but not bikini’s.

How could I not with this description:

“The support of briefs. Plus the freedom of boxers. It adds up to classic Hanes comfort.

• Ring-spun fabric feels super-soft. It’s even preshrunk for lasting fit.
• Long-leg styling looks sleek and streamlined.
• Wide Hanes waistband fits extra gently.”

Hopefully, they’ll show up before I have to “go commando” like Kramer in a classic Seinfeld short from 1994.

The religious right has blessed us with “Dubya,” now they’ve taken away Halloween. Well, they did at one Newton, MA elementary school this week because it upset their “religious sensibilities.” Yep, kids dressing up as Snow White or Harry Potter and collecting treats in the neighborhood is sure upsetting. I fought this battle for a few years for my own kids who were not allowed to celebrate Halloween. One year I just rebelled and went for it. Kyle loved it of course, dressing as Darth Maul, Batman, Darth Vader, Two-Face, Captain Hook, and Mr. Potter. During this stretch of paganism, I’ve gone with the Emporer from Star Wars, Dr. Evil, and the esteemed Rubeus Hagrid. I have to say, the first year of the revolt was the best. After about an hour locked in my bathroom, I emerged as old Jack Napier himself – the Joker. I wish I had a picture of Kyle’s face when he first saw me. He was really scared and hesitantly asked, “Dad, is it you?” What fun we had dressing up and being characters for a night. Now the pressure is back on Kyle to not dress up anymore. That’s enough fun I guess. To those who would take this fun away, I think Jack Nicholson as the Joker has some good advice.

High prices um, fueled Exxon Mobil and Royal Dutch Shell to their best quarterly results EVER today, with Exxon becoming the first U.S. company ever to ring up quarterly sales of $100,000,000,000.00. Yeah, that’s a lot of zeroes. The boys at Exxon also run a tight ship, and they scored their largest EVER quarterly profit of $9,900,000,000.00. Not one to boast, Exxon didn’t mention in its earnings announcement that its nearly ten-billion dollar PROFIT was a record. Puny in comparison, Shell made a measly $9,030,000,000.00 PROFIT.

Responsible corporate citizen, Exxon Mobil’s chairman and chief executive, Lee Raymond, emphasized his Mother Theresa-like company “acted responsibly” in pricing gasoline in the aftermath of Katrina and Rita, adding that profits were “tempered” by the storms, and he warned that “reduced volumes and higher costs” will “impact” Exxon’s earnings in their upcoming fourth quarter.

US petroleum consumers were all having a cigarette and unavailable for comment.

I can’t really add much to what Jeff wrote today about last night’s Son Volt show, except to say that hearing those songs again with all those great lines was a privilege. Jay Farrar’s music moves me and makes me move. Between songs toward the end of the show, someone yelled out, “JAY FARRAR IS GOD.” Frankly, I don’t think God is as good a songwriter… On the ride home, Jeff and I chatted about some of the many shows we’ve seen together over the years. They have been a privilege. Whether today, tomorrow or twenty years from now, I’ll always be able to say to Jeff, “Man, we saw some great shows, didn’t we?”

“Find strength from the words
Of those that went before
Take what you need
But leave even more”

Jay Farrar, “World Waits for You”

Every other year, we hold our annual customer conference in Las Vegas. On alternate years, it’s on a Disney property in Orlando. Here are some highlights (and lowlights) of last weekends get together:

• The Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art had 34 impressionist works from Boston’s MFA in a show they called, “The Impressionist Landscape from Corot to van Gogh.” Highlights for me were a couple paintings by my favorite of the Impressionists, Camille Pissarro, and this quote that ended the tour:

  “It must be good to die in the knowledge that one has done some truthful work and to know that, as a result, one will live on in the memory of at least a few and leave a good example for those who come after.” – Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh Amsterdam, 3 March 1878

• Dining on Art – After the Impressionist show, we experienced the artistry of Picasso at the Bellagio. The Picasso’s hanging in the room were astonishingly alive.

• “Le Reve” at the Wynn – A very Cirque du Soleil show performed in an aquatic theatre in the round. “The Dream” opens with a red-clad man slipping into a floating bed that slowly circles the round pool until it disappears into the depths. The dream begins. Stunning. Oh, and the 12 of us were transported in a Hummer limo.

• “Hey, try some of this.” – When the new VP of Marketing says, “wanna grab lunch,” it’s a cool opportunity. When he offers you to try some of his sushi with eel, you just do it. Actually it was pretty good, and it didn’t taste like chicken.

• The Sharon Stone – At our Sunday night reception poolside at the MGM Grand, several Hollywood lookalikes roamed among us. Sharon Stone was my favorite. She looked just like the actress, but what really amazed me was that she sounded exactly like her.

• The Long Ball – After the reception I went up to my room to change and flipped on the TV. Game 5 of the NLCS was on and the Astros were up 4-2 with 2 outs in the ninth. After a single and a walk, Albert Pujols absolutely crushed a hanging 96mph slider for a 5-4 Cardinals win. It’s moments like those that make baseball the best game, period.

• The Brunch – I was invited to a Sunday morning session for a specific group of our customers and it was fabulous. Customers were greeted at the door with Mimosas or Bloody Marys and then enjoyed the best food I’ve ever had in the six years I’ve attended the conference.

• The Eight – I didn’t gamble a lick until the last night when I had no business doing so. When the dealer drew an 8 while holding a 13, my trip was over.

It’s been nearly ten years since Jeff and I toured New England four nights in a row to witness what survived from the inferno that was Uncle Tupelo. At that time, much of me was being consumed in a fire I chose to walk into. Unfortunately, anyone close to you during a fire is likely to suffer burns to some degree, and in my case, they did. I’ve spent most of the ten years since applying the salve of love to help heal their wounds, but memories of a fire can haunt survivors long after the flames are drowned. Recently on TV I saw images of people combing the burned-out shells of what once were their homes in Southern California. They slowly walk while looking downward, hoping to salvage a meaningful artifact from the ashes… a family photo… a childs toy… their heart. Hey, wasn’t that uplifting? Sorry, it’s just part of my personal exorcism to claw my way out of the hell of self-imposed misery and guilt. I think it’s going really well…

So this weekend Son Volt is back, but different than the band we saw back in ’95. All the faces have changed except that of Jay Farrar, the heart of the band. NPR’s show “All Songs Considered” has an article and audio of a full show played recently at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. Check it out. Jeff and I will be in Paradise again Sunday night, but different than we were in ’95. Hopefully, we’re better. Hey, I wonder if they’ll open with “Bandages & Scars?”