Month: October 2005 (Page 1 of 2)

On what seems to be an annual basis, whether I need to or not, I peer into the abyss of my underwear drawer and see nothing but the tattered remains of the few, the proud, the Hanes Boxer Briefs. Yes, they were willing to fight on, protecting me from… well, I guess from the inside of my pants, but time waits for no one, and the onslaught they endured day after day finally broke them. I suppose if they enjoyed shore leave once in a while, their morale would have been stronger, but these guys saw nothing but life in the trenches. Their only respite was a bath now and then. God forbid I ever got into “an accident” and the poor paramedics had to see me in those. Yes, it was time for reinforcements. Now going out to buy new skivies is not something I look forward to, so I thought I’d see if shopping for underwear in my underwear was feasible. I’m happy to report there’s a lot of undies on the net. Some I saw on ebay seemed not quite new, so I stayed off that potentially dangerous, um, highway.

I ended up at a lovely little storefront called One Hanes Place. It sells only new briefs, and also has cool features like the “Bra Finder” for those of you so inclined. At One Hanes Place, bloomer browsing was a breeze, and I boldly bought boxer briefs, but not bikini’s.

How could I not with this description:

“The support of briefs. Plus the freedom of boxers. It adds up to classic Hanes comfort.

• Ring-spun fabric feels super-soft. It’s even preshrunk for lasting fit.
• Long-leg styling looks sleek and streamlined.
• Wide Hanes waistband fits extra gently.”

Hopefully, they’ll show up before I have to “go commando” like Kramer in a classic Seinfeld short from 1994.

The religious right has blessed us with “Dubya,” now they’ve taken away Halloween. Well, they did at one Newton, MA elementary school this week because it upset their “religious sensibilities.” Yep, kids dressing up as Snow White or Harry Potter and collecting treats in the neighborhood is sure upsetting. I fought this battle for a few years for my own kids who were not allowed to celebrate Halloween. One year I just rebelled and went for it. Kyle loved it of course, dressing as Darth Maul, Batman, Darth Vader, Two-Face, Captain Hook, and Mr. Potter. During this stretch of paganism, I’ve gone with the Emporer from Star Wars, Dr. Evil, and the esteemed Rubeus Hagrid. I have to say, the first year of the revolt was the best. After about an hour locked in my bathroom, I emerged as old Jack Napier himself – the Joker. I wish I had a picture of Kyle’s face when he first saw me. He was really scared and hesitantly asked, “Dad, is it you?” What fun we had dressing up and being characters for a night. Now the pressure is back on Kyle to not dress up anymore. That’s enough fun I guess. To those who would take this fun away, I think Jack Nicholson as the Joker has some good advice.

High prices um, fueled Exxon Mobil and Royal Dutch Shell to their best quarterly results EVER today, with Exxon becoming the first U.S. company ever to ring up quarterly sales of $100,000,000,000.00. Yeah, that’s a lot of zeroes. The boys at Exxon also run a tight ship, and they scored their largest EVER quarterly profit of $9,900,000,000.00. Not one to boast, Exxon didn’t mention in its earnings announcement that its nearly ten-billion dollar PROFIT was a record. Puny in comparison, Shell made a measly $9,030,000,000.00 PROFIT.

Responsible corporate citizen, Exxon Mobil’s chairman and chief executive, Lee Raymond, emphasized his Mother Theresa-like company “acted responsibly” in pricing gasoline in the aftermath of Katrina and Rita, adding that profits were “tempered” by the storms, and he warned that “reduced volumes and higher costs” will “impact” Exxon’s earnings in their upcoming fourth quarter.

US petroleum consumers were all having a cigarette and unavailable for comment.

I can’t really add much to what Jeff wrote today about last night’s Son Volt show, except to say that hearing those songs again with all those great lines was a privilege. Jay Farrar’s music moves me and makes me move. Between songs toward the end of the show, someone yelled out, “JAY FARRAR IS GOD.” Frankly, I don’t think God is as good a songwriter… On the ride home, Jeff and I chatted about some of the many shows we’ve seen together over the years. They have been a privilege. Whether today, tomorrow or twenty years from now, I’ll always be able to say to Jeff, “Man, we saw some great shows, didn’t we?”

“Find strength from the words
Of those that went before
Take what you need
But leave even more”

Jay Farrar, “World Waits for You”

Every other year, we hold our annual customer conference in Las Vegas. On alternate years, it’s on a Disney property in Orlando. Here are some highlights (and lowlights) of last weekends get together:

• The Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art had 34 impressionist works from Boston’s MFA in a show they called, “The Impressionist Landscape from Corot to van Gogh.” Highlights for me were a couple paintings by my favorite of the Impressionists, Camille Pissarro, and this quote that ended the tour:

  “It must be good to die in the knowledge that one has done some truthful work and to know that, as a result, one will live on in the memory of at least a few and leave a good example for those who come after.” – Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh Amsterdam, 3 March 1878

• Dining on Art – After the Impressionist show, we experienced the artistry of Picasso at the Bellagio. The Picasso’s hanging in the room were astonishingly alive.

• “Le Reve” at the Wynn – A very Cirque du Soleil show performed in an aquatic theatre in the round. “The Dream” opens with a red-clad man slipping into a floating bed that slowly circles the round pool until it disappears into the depths. The dream begins. Stunning. Oh, and the 12 of us were transported in a Hummer limo.

• “Hey, try some of this.” – When the new VP of Marketing says, “wanna grab lunch,” it’s a cool opportunity. When he offers you to try some of his sushi with eel, you just do it. Actually it was pretty good, and it didn’t taste like chicken.

• The Sharon Stone – At our Sunday night reception poolside at the MGM Grand, several Hollywood lookalikes roamed among us. Sharon Stone was my favorite. She looked just like the actress, but what really amazed me was that she sounded exactly like her.

• The Long Ball – After the reception I went up to my room to change and flipped on the TV. Game 5 of the NLCS was on and the Astros were up 4-2 with 2 outs in the ninth. After a single and a walk, Albert Pujols absolutely crushed a hanging 96mph slider for a 5-4 Cardinals win. It’s moments like those that make baseball the best game, period.

• The Brunch – I was invited to a Sunday morning session for a specific group of our customers and it was fabulous. Customers were greeted at the door with Mimosas or Bloody Marys and then enjoyed the best food I’ve ever had in the six years I’ve attended the conference.

• The Eight – I didn’t gamble a lick until the last night when I had no business doing so. When the dealer drew an 8 while holding a 13, my trip was over.

It’s been nearly ten years since Jeff and I toured New England four nights in a row to witness what survived from the inferno that was Uncle Tupelo. At that time, much of me was being consumed in a fire I chose to walk into. Unfortunately, anyone close to you during a fire is likely to suffer burns to some degree, and in my case, they did. I’ve spent most of the ten years since applying the salve of love to help heal their wounds, but memories of a fire can haunt survivors long after the flames are drowned. Recently on TV I saw images of people combing the burned-out shells of what once were their homes in Southern California. They slowly walk while looking downward, hoping to salvage a meaningful artifact from the ashes… a family photo… a childs toy… their heart. Hey, wasn’t that uplifting? Sorry, it’s just part of my personal exorcism to claw my way out of the hell of self-imposed misery and guilt. I think it’s going really well…

So this weekend Son Volt is back, but different than the band we saw back in ’95. All the faces have changed except that of Jay Farrar, the heart of the band. NPR’s show “All Songs Considered” has an article and audio of a full show played recently at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. Check it out. Jeff and I will be in Paradise again Sunday night, but different than we were in ’95. Hopefully, we’re better. Hey, I wonder if they’ll open with “Bandages & Scars?”

…is my favorite month of the year. The month of Halloween holds the day I was born that’s the same day as the Mick. Last year on that day, the Red Sox beat the Yankees in Game 7 of the ALCS. Sorry Mickey, but Happy Birthday anyway. I’ve fallen in love a few times in October and keep waiting for the next time… So this week I’m turning “37” (Well, that is if you agree with the premise 40 really is the new 30…), yet I don’t “feel” 47. I can still do everything I could when I was 37… Well, let me clarify that. I still exercise regularly, but I don’t run for cardio because it doesn’t seem to agree with one of my hips… Oh, and some things involving hips I haven’t done in a while, so I’m really not sure about that. So cardio is limited to the StairMaster and the elliptical thingy, but it’s all about elevating the heartrate, right? Anyway, what else… Oh, I still play golf at the same level of mediocrity that I did, hell, in my 20’s! See? I’m just as good! Uhhh, wait…another clarification… the mind is an entirely different story… What was I talking about again?

A recent caller to the Sean Hannity radio show made one of the best political points I’ve ever heard, but it seemed completely lost on Mr. Hannity and sadly, he did not engage the discussion. The caller said a fundamental problem in our country is that we were a nation “founded on principals and few laws,” but that due to the deluge of lawyers among us, those principals are drowning in a cesspool of laws and litigation.

In a related story, a new study indicates we Americans are ruder than ever. Go figure. One cited area was the increasingly bad behavior of our children and our reluctance to do anything about it. With so many lawyers looking for any and all areas to increase demand, it seems you’re risking “catching a case” if you correct your child, nevermind giving them a good kick in the ass, not that I’m advocating that…

Just this morning I discovered that one of the bast times to communicate with my daughter Megan is between 3:00am and 4:00am. We had one of the best conversations…EVER. She is so bright, beautiful and funny. She also has the ability to read people that seems way beyond her 16 years. Watching her growing is like watching a flower in springtime as it confronts the rain and glows in the sunshine. From my seat in the stands (a good one), there are many sunny days ahead.

I had an interesting couple days in Atlanta that paired play and work beautifully. On the flight down, I was amused seeing Boston Herald sportswriter Michael Felger reading the Boston Sunday Globe sports section. Is that irony or merely a humorous sight on a Sunday morning? He was heading to see the Patriots play a very tough Atlanta Falcons club, and so was I, but I probably had the better seat. My long-time pal Tommy “Tank” Kimmel has 4 season tickets on the 30 yard line, eleven rows from the field. Sweet! The Pats won a great game 31-28 with Adam Vinitieri having just another day at the office. I spent most of the game chatting with Tom’s 13 year old son, Jared. Jared is a very cool kid. He’s smart, well-mannered and he’s a catcher, proving those are not mutually exclusive. His Dad and mom Patty should be very proud.

After an exhilarating win (for me), we listened to about half the Braves-Astros game 4 tilt while waiting in the Georgia Dome parking lot traffic. The game turned into an epic 18 inning struggle finally won by the NLCS bound ‘stros. Tough day for Tommy and Jared in the sports department, but a great day otherwise for a son and his dad. From there it was on to the Emory Hotel and conference center…

This conference was a mix of corporate and field folks getting together to kickoff a new fiscal year. It’s a time of renewal and optimism. After seeing (4,352 powerpoints) and hearing presentations from our different groups, I’ve never been more confident about our future.* I am very fortunate to work for a truly great company. Not that we don’t have our challenges, but the people we have just always get it done. It’s fun to be part of that.

*Safe Harbor Statement
This blog contains forward-looking statements that are based solely on my expectations of future events as of the date of this posting, and I assume no obligation to update any forward-looking statements as a result of new information or future events or developments. Actual results could differ materially from my expectations, but I doubt it.

Megan loves “Everybody Loves Raymond.” I don’t love Raymond, but the show is a good segue into a discussion of cast member Peter Boyle. I guess he plays “Frank,” Ray’s cranky father, but man, he has played some real “characters” over the years. Last weekend I caught a bit of “Where the Buffalo Roam,” starring Billy Murray as “Gonzo” journalist Hunter S. Thompson. Boyle plays a liberal San Francisco defense attorney who gets kicked out of court and takes up with Thompson (Murray) to cover the 1972 Super…, uh, I mean the “big game.” As “Laslow,” Boyle’s hair is perfect. In “The Dream Team” from 1989, Boyle plays an ad exec who thinks he’s “the big guy.” Of course, his intimate portrayal of Gene Wilder’s creation in “Young Fronkensteen” is unparalleled in the annals of film and his greatest artistic achievment of splendidly playing whack jobs.