A place to indulge my narcissism... and write stuff...

Author: fifteenkey (Page 28 of 95)

Sunday Scrambled with Salsa Verde

  • For quite a while now, I thought filmmakers were employing a “soft” (read: slightly blurred) filming technique like the “shaking” method of“NYPD Blue” a few years ago. After looking through my friends glasses last night, I found out they are not…
  • Even blurred, it’s interesting to see the contrasting visions of set design from each “Harry Potter” Director, but it detracts a little from the story continuity.
  • There’s something missing in the Red Sox lineup this year and it’s a fearsome hitter. I think that guy plays in LA now.
  • It just occurred to me I have to travel 3 times between early October and early November, twice to Sin City, which isn’t all that fun without the sin.
  • Check out Pandora.com internet radio…
  • Contrary to the market massaging melodies of Fed Chairman Ben “What, Me Worry” Bernanke, the recession is far from over for 14.5M unemployed Americans…
  • …and his primary constituency at the “too big to fail” financial institutions are still too big and are back to gouging us and gambling with our money.
  • And where the hell are the alt-energy stimulus dollars?
  • I’m not crazy about Intuit buying Mint.com because it reduces competition, but as long as they keep producing valuable content like “The Power of No at work,” all is not lost.
  • In all the noise on health care reform, the dire need to reform our financial system has been largely lost.
  • Speaking of lost (again), it looks like after a lost summer of “death panels killing Grammy” the public option may become a reality.
  • I’m looking forward to Michael Moore’s “Capitalism: A Love Story.”
  • Prediction: with back room diplomacy appealing to the educated middle class with influence on the Muslim powerbase in Iran, Ahmadinejad will fall by the end of 2010. That country and its citizens have too much to offer the world and can no longer be run by the male Iranian equivalent of Michele Bachmann.
  • Still on the subject of nuts, check out these “Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Spending $63,000 On Dinner With Sarah Palin.”
  • Finally, could Bill Maher have dinner with Sister Sarah? I mean are Christian Conservatives and Liberal Elites mutually exclusive? I’m beginning to think not, but…
  • …hearing “I loooove Rush” in an almost breathless exclaim really chilled my liberal mojo… I think the secret may be the ability to “have a civil conversation about those things…
  • With a presidential election, London Summer Olympics and the whole Mayan thing, 2012 is going to be quite a year…
  • …but it’s best to remain focused on being alive in the present.

Alive

Tonight I stopped for a drink after work with marketing types catching up with a former co-worker turned Salsa instructor. Completely unlike me, I stepped it around and talked to pretty much all the dozen or so folks there. Last night I had dinner with a friend till way past my bedtime and Wednesday had a work buddy over for dinner and cigars. Last week was a great time with peers in Newport working the room and just talking to everyone I could. Today I walked around chatting with our team members and even put my head on a picture of a guy dressed as a can of Spam and sent it to oh, about 1,000 people (with an internal marketing message). What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t think I’ve seen an episode of “Dora” in 2 weeks!

Still over thinking as usual, determining the exact source of the problem eludes, but I may have been infected with this “people thing” during the “biggest loser” work contest of 2009 or during vacation. In fact, I may have caught it from my oldest pal Mike Gonnella, who acts like he’s the rush chairman of the Phoenix Harley Riders Association. I remember wanting that vacation to change me… maybe even break me out of the dark cave I’d been living in for so long. Now dwelling on it, the first symptoms appeared when I gleefully told anyone willing to listen about my “greatest vacation ever.” Once those first few steps were taken, I’ve “just kept running” in a Forrest Gump kinda way. This people fever may pass, but it does feel good to know I’m still alive.

Speaking of alive, check out the fans in this video. They are alive.

Intolerance Island 2009

The 2009 “Value Voters” Summit was held last weekend in Washington DC. The headliners of the event included “15 current or former Republican elected officials or Cabinet members and no Democrats.” I guess winning isn’t one of their values. Of course, these fine folks had a Hollywood celebrity, the runt of the Baldwin litter, the talentless Stephen. The last “film” I saw this guy in was “Shark in Venice” on the SyFy channel. Now Kyle loves any movie with a shark in it, but it was dreadful and one Amazon reviewer described his performance thusly, “throughout the entire thing he looked like a guy trying to wake up from an Ambien hangover who is also slightly constipated.”

Anyway, the breakout sessions of this hoedown included:

  • THUGOCRACY – FIGHTING THE VAST LEFT WING CONSPIRACY
  • OBAMACARE: RATIONING YOUR LIFE AWAY
  • THE NEW MASCULINITY

In “The New Masculinity” session, Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff of United States Senator Tom Coburn’s (R-OK) made the case that viewing straight porn turns adolescent boys gay because it “turns your sexual drive inwards.” What Mr. Schwartz whiffs on is the fact that women don’t um, have a hand in these boys fantasies because they’re not there. I doubt these little dudes would be waxing their Wii if Lara Croft suddenly jumped out of their game console. I’m just sayin’.

A DC summit wouldn’t really carry any credibility without a presidential poll, and here’s where the traveling “700 Club” hung their chads:

  • Mike Huckabee 28.48% – I’d never vote for him, but the Huckster is OK with me.
  • Mitt Romney 12.40% – Mitt’s got the Bain business pedigree and all, but he makes watching paint dry seem like a KISS concert. Plus, he’s a Mormon and these believers apparently don’t dig the tabernacle choir.
  • Tim Pawlenty 12.23% – Who?
  • Sarah Palin 12.06% – Carrie’s mom is a woman who clearly does not understand her limitations. I hope she is the nominee. I really do.
  • Mike Pence 11.89% – See Tim Pawlenty above.
  • Newt Gingrich 6.70% – Not since “A Boy Named Sue” has anyone been so pissed about what his parents named him. A Boy named Newt…
  • Bobby Jindal 4.69% – Isn’t the Indian “Mister Rogers” a little brown for this group? Yeah, his numbers would indicate so.
  • Rick Santorum 2.51% – Can you say, “Sanatorium?”
  • Ron Paul 2.18% – The only one of this bunch that makes much sense, but I’m sure most attendees had no idea what the hell he was talking about.
  • Other 1.68% – I think Ronald Reagan got most of these votes.

Seeing all these Republican nomads wandering the political desert in search of a clue is priceless and yet another annual stop to suck up at Intolerance Island is an indication they’re still far from finding one.

Fall Again

Another season is over. They seem to be accelerating toward the inevitable end. The last 50 or so seemed to blur by faster than this rock spinning at 25,000 miles an hour. Now the merry go round is passing by another Fall. As it comes into view, birth markers appear amidst hills of flaming colors and crisp fruit. The air is conditioned and clean. (Megan just walked by at 7:01 to say, “It’s beautiful out.”) The past several years I’ve always been looking ahead with intent to really enjoy the summer, the fall, the holiday season, whatever was next. Once those times pass, I’ve often looked back with a sense that I somehow missed something. Either we didn’t go to the beach, pick apples or sing Carols…

As a child riding the carousel, I would try to see everything and fully experience the ride before it stopped. I’d like a return to that childlike wonder in all I do before… Well, while this ride keeps spinning. Hey, it’s Fall again!

Readings and Rantings on a Thursday night

Some of this is from emails I’ve written today, recounting events that took place between 6:00PM last night and well, later. Some of the names have been changed because I don’t want people hatin’ on me.

First of all, at 10:32PM, and toward the end of a 90 FREAKIN’ MINUTE phone call (more on that later), I get an email from “Coach,” who, commenting on my recent blogging of the Pats game wrote, “He not only chased him down from behind, he tackled and landed on top of Jackson knocking every breath of air out of his lungs. I love Wilfork!” Coach was writing his regrets for not attending the NEC reunion due to his accommodations at Mass General Hospital last night. I hope Coach’s physical health improves, but I should note his mental health is far beyond the current capabilities of Freudian psychology or the vast pharmaceutical industry… Only he could read that blog post and know the freakin’ plays I was referring to.

At two hours past 7:00 I was getting some air outside a hot Irish Pub full of imbibing Marketing professionals when my lovely ex called me, and like an only-Andy Rooney episode of “90 Minutes,” recaps the reunion in gruesome detail. Long story, but right now she seems to be in a “whoever talks the most, wins” phase, and of course the first thing out of her mouth was, “Esmerelda (literary license) hasn’t changed a bit. She’s as beautiful as ever.” At that point I thought I was being mugged on the tough streets of Newport as a cold, stabbing pain seared my back, but it was only the cut of beautiful words.

As a “glass half-full” kind of guy, the fact I went three half hours without a glass at all was addition by subtraction. When I walked into the dive across the street that everyone had traded up to from the sauna, I was walking more upright than most. As the night regressed, I did learn that lesbians prefer comfortable shoes over heels, and “The U” may have a pretty good football team again. Oh, and while I had “Newport Storm” beer and Cabernet earlier in the night, Maker’s on the rocks just works. Speaking of work, it is for me to socially circulate, but I put the effort in and here are some of the things I heard…

From two different women I took in, “You have kind eyes” and “I was intimidated by your eyes.” So, I guess I have to be very careful about whether I wear my kind eyes or my angry eyes. Finally, aside from my knifing, was the coup de grace of my evening. As I shifted to dissuade the affectionate show of appreciation from a “one too many” 20-something in the bar, my ego was thoroughly enjoying the affirmation. “Yeah, baby. I still got it going on!” Or something like that. As I nodded and smiled approvingly, but also with mock humility at the compliments, the ultimate loud record scratch ripped through my cochlea like a rusty wire brush with, “You remind me of my Grampa.”

“Is someone twisting a knife in your back?
Are you being attacked?

Oh, this is a fact that you need to know”

Wilco (the song)

Mutual Exclusivity

I’ll be in Newport, RI tomorrow night socializing with current work acquaintances while ex-cube farmers from NEC re-union in Boxborough, MA. Honestly, part of me would like to swap locations, but the hand of fate (yeah, I’m still on the B&B; kick) placed me a couple hours South. However, in an almost game time decision, my lovely-ex will be at the NEC gathering and yours truly got her a male escort for the occasion! Yep. My old friend Tommy K, who goes way back with me to NEC and is the guy responsible for me enjoying my current gig, accepted the challenge and will walk in as Gigi’s “arm candy.” (His words; not mine.)

There are only a few people on the reunion list I wanted to see, and it would have been very interesting to see them. Reunions are a time to see if the old flame that dumped you got fat and ugly or ended up with someone that did. Well, they are in my little mind… The starkest memories from the last reunion I attended were the confirmed alcoholism of a big HS drinker who was carried out of the hall, and the fact I didn’t recognize one of the “untouchable” girls from my class. Ooops. Sorry, I’m drifting. Anyway, I also was really surprised at the names I didn’t see, and when I read in the script, “Leo (in Newport),” it confirmed I was one of them. While I won’t be there, between the fabulous Gigi and “Tommy Bar” as my understudy, I expect to receive two very contrasting perspectives on the evening.

Live Blogging the Pats

Pre-Game

  • Uh, Tom Delay is going to be on “Dancing with the Stars?” As if that didn’t suck enough already. Jeez. I feel sicker than I did in the first quarter of the opener last year.
  • Is TO the Kanye West of the eneffel?
  • They should boot Hank Jr. and have Hank “tree” open these games.
  • Already I can tell this isn’t as much fun as cracking right-wing nuts.

1st Quarter

  • I think that kicker regrets going near Lawrence Maroney.
  • Wow, that was a very generous spot on the 3rd down pass to Faulk…
  • Hmmm… In the past Brady would have snuck for the 4 inches.
  • OK, commercials suck, but the Autotrader one wasn’t bad.
  • What a freakin’ neck on Posluszny
  • Brady is jacked and overthrowing… Settle down, big guy.
  • Um, that was a nice sweater.
  • Oh, and Maddy can say, “Football… Woooooo!!!” She’s so talented.
  • Hey, there’s Leslie’s TV!
  • Nice tackling on that Trent Edwards scramble… WTF? This is football!
  • Shouldn’t the Pat’s be up like 14-0 by now?
  • Jerrod Mayo hurt??? Oh, wait, that’s not important. Let’s run an IBM commercial.
  • Sorry, but Corona in a can just isn’t going to work.
  • Vince is tired because he just chased down a running back on the prior play. Pay attention!
  • Oh, what? The Bills scored?
  • OK, at what point will the Pats figure out they need to block and tackle tonight?
  • The Adrian Peterson B&W; Nike commercial is art.
  • Didn’t Richard Seymour used to play where that big friggin hole has been all night?
  • Well, that was a good first quarter for NFL fans already under a snow emergency…

2nd Quarter

  • Gotta catch that, TO…
  • I like the Bills effort on D.
  • FIOS seems cool, but I can’t bear to give Verizon another dime.
  • Man, Tedy Bruschi’s been invisible tonight.
  • Two words: Kevin Faulk.
  • Now THAT was a Brady rope to Moss!
  • I repeat: Kevin Faulk.
  • Nice drive, and the rust is coming off Mr. Brady. He threaded that pass to Welker.
  • Who’s that Packer with the Fabio ‘do?
  • Trent Edwards really needs to shave that cheesy ‘stache.
  • Oh, yeah. I’ll be all over a Chicken Parm at Dunkins…
  • It seems maybe Bill Belichick went all vampire on the asses of his defenders.
  • Example Lee Bodden…
  • The Dirty Dancer has died. RIP Patrick Swayze.
  • Oh, and 63% of doctors favor a public option
  • I’m sure the ad agencies are cutting GM a break ‘cuz it’s our tax dollars, right?

Halftime

  • Southwest loves bags.
  • Can a guy in a marching band hat really be “the soul?”

3rd Quarter

  • Intentional grounding maybe, but roughing the passer?
  • Dickipedia entry for Kanye West
  • Tom Brady sound a little like Beavis when he’s trying to draw the Bills offside.
  • It seems Beavis is establishing a rhythm
  • If “that’s Tom Brady,” then who was that other guy?
  • Oh, the other guy just threw a 4th and 2 at Welker’s feet.
  • OK, I want that smiling jackass to be caught and mauled by the bear.
  • The Pats are still losing…
  • Now by 7 again…
  • Buffalo is very undiciplined… Spearing?
  • Brady runs for the first! He hasn’t lost a step… He’s still slow.

4th Quarter

  • Bob Kraft has got to lose the blue shirt / white collar thing.
  • One more time. Kevin Faulk.
  • Maybe TO’s not big on Buffalo wings.
  • 3 auto insurers duking it out tonight… I’m not mentioning them.
  • What’s with the 1/2 second “Are your credit cards max…” commercialis interuptus?
  • OH! TO mouthing off and the interference call is on him!
  • Whoa… Nice screen for 17 and a first. Buffalo is believing it now.
  • Adalius Thomas has been a disappointment. That penalty didn’t help.
  • Wow is right.
  • Wouldn’t 36 hour Cialis almost certainly cause some degree of lost vision and hearing, along with a pulled hammy? I’m just sayin’.
  • Where does New England need to go? Uh, the end zone.
  • Galloway? Seems he retired too.
  • Nice catch, Ben.
  • Good thing you didn’t drop that one or you would have been joining big Sey in Oaktown.
  • Should have taken a knee, son.
  • If the Bills lose this game, they beat themselves.
  • I think this Christmas will be a good time to pick up a PS3, Wii or xBox. The price cutting is already underway.
  • OK Ben, that was a sweet catch.
  • Please just tackle now.
  • “A defining moment for Trent Edwards?” Unlikely. These announcers… Every situation is not monumental. This one better not be.
  • And in other rugby action tonight…

Postgame

  • Couldn’t Brady just be gracious and tell Suzie Kolber he wanted to kiss her?
  • The Patriots were very lucky to win tonight. If Mayo is seriously hurt, that defense is in trouble.

Hand of Fade

Most of yesterday was hurried, and that’s not a good word when much of it was spent attempting to execute golf shots, not to be confused with executing golf balls. While I didn’t mean to kill any, I left several abandoned in the woods, their well-being unknown. My rushed day actually began Thursday night, the result of another health-care fiction. Not the Republican “death panel” kind, but more of the “oh my god, I’m gonna die… Nevermind, I’m fine… again.” Anyway, dropping my boy off at oh-seven thirty school put my 9AM presence for a shotgun start in jeopardy. Rather than stress over it for the next 90 minutes, I took the back roads to Windham, NH and fired up the newly downloaded “Black and Blue” ($5 at bigasssouthamericanriver.com).

If you’re just a casual Stones fan, and I am compared to some, (1981’s “Tattoo You” was my last purchase and it was on vinyl) Black and Blue transitioned the band from Mick Taylor to Ronnie Wood guitar playing and toward the brilliant “Some Girls” in 1978. The record sprinkles reggae, jazz, a big dollop of funk provided by Billy Preston, and some white boy soul from Mick on “Fool to Cry.” Winding along the rural route, this fool repeated that one a few times. Sometimes words speak right to you. Not the way the dog did to “Son of Sam” David Berkowitz, but to where you are.

Fresh off some excellent sing along with Mick, I arrived at 8:58, threw on my spikes, didn’t find my glove, and was hustled out to #17 past the cat calls and images of people pointing at watches while shaking their squashes disapprovingly. You don’t be late for “the Funnyman.” “You gotta hit” was the first thing I heard from the trio with their heads hung, reflective of their first hole ineptness. I casually informed them this would be my first swing of 2009 and it would be best if they simply lowered their expectations. I hit a straight line drive about 200 yards into the left fringe, safe. For the next dozen holes I’m sure my teammates essentially flat lined their expectations of the game I brought. By our last 3 or 4 we divoted the dream of Funnyman glory, and were mentally already drinking. Not surprisingly, we all began having more fun and playing better. I hit a second shot 3-wood about 200 yards to within 15’ of the pin. That one shot plus 3 Advil “Farved” me into a return next year.

Discussion of my evening plan prompted a crude, but hilarious bad golf analogy from cart-partner Tony, and then it was off to it. Hours later, as I trailed off a vacation story about accidentally finding the restaurant from the film “Sideways,” I ordered a Pinot Noir from the bartender. “We have blah-blah-blah or Hitching Post.” Uh, yeah. From there the frenetic pace of the day dissolved…

“Daddy you’re a fool to cry
And it makes me wonder why.”

Jagger/Richards

Semicolonoscopy ;-)

Someone had to do it, and as the “father of modern punctuation,” the Italian printer Aldus Manutius the Elder delivered the semicolon. On the right-brain side of the ledger, ol’ Aldus is also credited with inventing the italics typeface. For the record, he’s not responsible for semicolon use as a wink. 😉 Here’s a good description of its use.

My issue with the semicolon is its overuse “separating closely related independent clauses,” or “dealing with two sentences that can’t keep their hands off each other.”1. An old acquaintance used to pepper sentences with semicolons, and too much pepper overwhelms the senses, distorting the flavor of the dish. Robin L. Simmons writes, “Semicolons are like glasses of champagne; save them for special occasions.”

I agree. Semicolon use is considered by some a sign of educational achievement, at least in grammar, while others read snobbery. Overuse creates imagery of the author leaning out over the Empire State’s edge screaming, “I AM SMART!!! I USE THE SEMICOLOOOOONNNN!!!” Well, overreaching on analogy isn’t good either. To put a succinct point on it, the semicolon lacks the closure of a period. In most of the independent clause scenarios a comma gets the job done, while a period may simply end the confusion.

“When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life. Old age is more like a semicolon.” – Kurt Vonnegut

1. By Stephanie

Like making sausage…

It’s said one should not look too closely at the legislative process of how our laws are made. That’s never been more true as the locusts of the health care lobby swarm to strip bare any threat to the profits of their clients, but I digress…

Another thing to avoid is web metrics. Recently I was digesting some Google Analytics for this space and discovered the #1 search term bringing people here is “leo daley sucks.” Hmmm… That got me thinking:

  • Is it me being searched?
  • Is is one person or many?
  • Do I in fact, suck?

I can’t definitively answer 1 or 2, but my opinion on #3 is “no,” I don’t suck. However, if you have come here 30 times in the last 30 days using this amusing route, please let us all know. I could be wrong!

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2026 Fifteenkey

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑